


The Tweaktape Letters

by Biblicalplague



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M, Implied Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, M/M, Phone Destroyer AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-14
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-02 07:13:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12722031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Biblicalplague/pseuds/Biblicalplague
Summary: The demonic imp Tweaktape is a terrible tempter. As a result of his shortcomings, Satan has punished him with a nearly impossible task: devour the soul of one of God's soldiers.Tweaktape writes to his dear friend Myst for advice as he does his best to steal Father Craig Tucker's soul for his own gain. He just wishes the pastor would stop trying so damn hard to save him.[[Phone Destroyer AU. More characters and pairings to be hopefully added, will update tags as they occur.]]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea bopping around in my head for awhile--mostly as a super explicit one-shot. But after thinking over the scenario some more and wishing I could read more Demon!Tweek and Pastor!Craig, I decided to start a fic myself so it's become porn with plot (and more plot than porn). It's my first South Park fic but hopefully not my last. I hope you enjoy!

_“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.”_

-FRANCIS QUARLES, _Emblems_

* * *

 _My dear Myst,_  

_I must have really screwed up for our Father to pass down this assignment himself._

_Perhaps you have already been before his throne of Judgement once or twice, being the more experienced tempter; but as a lowly greenhorn, I was terrified of His review. Hearing him read off my failures at the Training College, berating me with a mere glance--it was too much pressure! I could not stop my shaking and He does not know that vile thing called mercy. He saw no reason why he should try to shield me from the consequences of my blunders._

_I cannot blame Him for the punishment I now must endure: a banishment to Earth until I can devour the soul of one of the Enemy’s soldiers._

  _Thankfully, I am responsible for only a pastor and not a bishop or cardinal. My designated patient is young and so I have time, but as a recent graduate with reprehensible marks, I have very little confidence in myself. I fear I may be doomed to wander the Earth as a forever ineffectual tempter._

_If you could share any of your tips, I would greatly appreciate it. Should you find yourself in South Park, Colorado, USA, please stop in for a visit. I expect I will almost never be away from the only church in town._

_Your affectionate friend_

_Tweaktape_

* * *

 

The imp stared at the last sentence he had written. He hoped that Myst would write back as soon as he received this letter with his insight. How was Tweaktape going to tempt this pastor if he couldn’t even touch him more than half the time?

It wasn’t fair that his first real assignment post-Training College was on Earth. Most of his peers were tasked with simple assignments that were just an extension of their school exercises. Some reported to the different departments that made up Hell’s bureaucracy, others attended to newly arrived recruits, and then a select few might be sent to Earth to snatch souls out of the Enemy’s grasp. 

The souls of the lay people came to Hell and after existing in that realm for a predetermined amount of time, they would either be selected to become one of their Father’s minions or--in the rarest of cases--have their souls eaten and become one with oblivion.

The latter option was normally reserved for stubborn, ‘repentance too late’ types. They had been good people, but had blasphemed too often and too strongly on Earth, like an atheist who grew angry at just the thought of Christians in life but in death begged to apologize to the Enemy. Atheists who spit in the face of Satan openly could never be trustworthy minions, but their spirits were still bright and tasty things full of vigor. They still had too much benevolence, too much fight in them. They were finally Christians, but in Satan’s clutches and there was nothing the Enemy could do as the highest ranking members of their demon army devoured them.

Eating a good, clean soul made demons noticeably stronger. It was the equivalent of a demonic promotion in terms of power.

According to their Father, that was to be his motivation for this assignment. It may be difficult--perhaps even impossible--but if he could eat Father Craig Tucker’s soul, he would no longer be just a measly imp. Not only would he gain the admiration of all of his peers, but he would become a full-fledged, respectable demon of the upper crust with real power.

His tiny imp wings twitched at the thought as he stared down at South Park’s only church, invisible to the mortal eye. Inside was Father Tucker, his patient; his ticket to power and a better station was only a few yards away. Tweaktape felt his hands begin to sweat. There was so much riding on this, so much pressure--!

Taking a shaky breath, Tweaktape began to venture closer to the holy grounds. Earth had looked grainy and ghostly as he resided in the spiritual plane, but as he withdrew his wings, tail, and horns to appear as a normal twenty-something man, the world around him shifted until it was in focus and real. The snow beneath his feet dipped and crunched as his weight was finally felt on it, no longer hovering through it like some demented hologram. At least that was one nice thing about being on Earth. Hell didn’t have any snow and Tweaktape rather liked this experience. He couldn’t remember if he’d ever even seen snow as a human--those memories had left him when he accepted his position as a child of Satan.

Tweaktape shook those worrisome thoughts away and decided it was best to talk to Father Tucker in the flesh first, get an idea of who he was and maybe try to earn his trust as a confidant. His plan was to pose as a new member of his parish and take it from there. But just as he was about to set foot beyond the gate, he felt a burning sensation that made him hiss and withdraw.

 _“_ I-I’m too _weak?!”_ the imp hissed, surprised and already aggravated by his shortcomings. “Ngh!”

He twitched once before remembering that at his level, there was no way he could materialize in the House of the Enemy. Such a stupid, basic rule that would have hardly mattered if his patient were any other kind of human. Getting to Father Tucker was going to be harder than he thought.

Tweaktape allowed himself to shapeshift back into his original form as the world around him took on that holographic appearance once more. At least when he tried to pass through the church’s gates this time, nothing stopped him.

 He just as easily flew through the door of the church and had to grind his wings to a halt when a dark-haired young man caught his eye.

 “Father Tucker.” Tweaktape nearly jumped when he heard someone else call out the name of his patient. “I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

The blonde woman had gone unnoticed by Tweaktape, but it was clear she had the pastor’s full attention now. As Tweaktape lowered himself to rest on one of the pews nearest them, he managed to catch a glimpse of the small smirk on the priest’s handsome face.

“Bebe,” the man with the clerical collar began. “You can call me Craig when it’s just us and it’s not during a service. It would be really weird if I called you Ms. Stevens, right?”

 “I guess so, especially now that it’s Mrs. Donovan,” she replied with a small smile of her own.

“Ugh. I still can’t believe you ended up marrying that idiot.” Tweaktape’s tail twitched at that one. That was certainly not the behavior or language he expected of a priest.

“He was your idiot first,” the woman, Bebe, countered. “We’re really happy you could perform the wedding ceremony for us. You know it meant a lot to Clyde.”

 “Judging by the way he balled at the reception? I can tell.” He had such a monotonous voice that could even be classified as a little nasally. Tweaktape watched the pastor with something akin to fascination and admiration. Perhaps he wouldn’t be quite so boring to hang around if he was going to be sarcastic like this. He had assumed his patient would be uptight and unable to take a joke. 

“Just imagine what he’ll be like at our first child’s christening,” Bebe sighed, placing a hand over her stomach. Tweaktape craned his neck to get a closer look, but as far as he could tell, the woman wasn’t pregnant.

“You’re already starting that…?” Father Tucker trailed off here. For a moment, Tweaktape was certain he was going to let out a curse--something like ‘shit’, but silence took its place. A bit of self-censorship, perhaps? “You guys are dating me. Seriously. I’m only twenty four. I’m not ready to be an uncle just yet. Don’t tell me you came here to announce your pregnancy or something.”

The imp’s mouth fell open. What kind of pastor was this guy? Most of the priests he’d observed on field trips had been elated by news of pregnancy. It meant another little Christian, another little servant of the Enemy. Father Tucker was blowing away all of his preconceived notions.

“No, asshole. I just came to invite you and Tricia to have Thanksgiving dinner with us.”

“Hey! Watch your mouth in the house of the Lord!” Father Tucker chastised her, finally doing something pastorly. 

“Craig…” The young man’s amber eyes softened quickly at the sound of her gentle tone. A silence had fallen over the two. “It’s going to be the holidays soon. I know it’s been hard raising Tricia these past few years and with your parents gone, we just...You know, Clyde’s family considers you family and we would really love to have you.”

Father Tucker held up a hand and waved it flippantly. “Tricia is an adult. I haven’t ‘raised’ her.” A glance at Bebe told Tweaktape that was something of a lie. Despite his words and his tone, Father Tucker was quite modest. “If it means that much to you guys, we’ll join you for the holiday. I’m sure Trish would really love that. Thanks, Bebe.”

The blonde woman left shortly after that and Tweaktape watched Father Tucker carry out the rest of his daily chores in silence. He wished he would hurry up and leave this place or that someone else might pop in so he could observe the pastor talking some more. He felt he had gleamed quite a bit of useful information from Father Tucker’s short conversation with Bebe and had rather enjoyed listening to his banter. Tweaktape wondered what he would be like to talk to. Would he put on an act with him or come off just as sassy? 

He was nearly falling asleep on the altar by the time his patient finished up. It was dark out and Tweaktape could already hear the wind whistling from outside. Father Tucker must have been paying attention to that too as he pulled on a blue coat, chullo hat, and gloves to shield himself from the cold.

Tweaktape knew this was his chance and quickly flew outside the church, landing just outside the fence that encircled the building. Feet safely on neutral ground, Tweaktape assumed a solid, human-looking form just as he could hear the sound of the heavy church doors being locked up.

His heart was beating wildly in his chest as he waited for the pastor to join him on his turf. He wasn’t even sure what he would say to Father Tucker, but he knew he just had to make his acquaintance at least. Eventually he would form a better, smarter plan, but for now he was high on adrenaline. This was it--the true start to his hunt. 

He was shaking again. Tweaktape just knew it and as he tried to stop, that deadpan voice called out to him, making him jump nearly a foot in the air. “GAH!”

His eyes met Father Tucker’s and he was speechless. No longer was the man like a ghost to him. Every part of him was vivid and intimidating, especially when Tweaktape realized he had quite a few inches on him. Those dark, honey-colored eyes seemed to bore into him just as hot as his Father’s. “Can I help you, young man?”

There was something odd about being called young man by someone who looked to be his age, but Tweaktape didn’t mention it. He couldn’t. He felt like his tongue was glued to the back of his throat and he had trouble tearing his eyes away from Father Tucker’s. Desperate, he glanced up at the church’s steeple and then back at the priest who was waiting for him to answer. “I was just...It...I-I’m thinking about getting back in touch w-with my f-f-faith.”

He hated himself for stumbling over his words and coming up with such a clumsy lie. He was dead on arrival when it came to this assignment.

“Oh.”

‘ _Right. Oh, indeed_ ,’ Tweaktape thought bitterly, glaring down at his shoes. He was taken aback when he felt a gloved hand come to rest on his shoulder, startling him once more.

What was even more surprising was to find that Father Tucker was smiling down at him with a light so bright and so pure he was worried it might burn him. “That’s great!” The sincerity in his nasally voice made his eyes go wide. This was completely different compared to how he had conducted himself around Bebe, but somehow seemed no less sincere. “I know it can be really difficult returning to a religion. I know it might feel like you’ve been let down by God in the past, or you just don’t know where to start or how to ask for forgiveness, but you’re doing the right thing.” 

“...Oh.” Tweaktape echoed the pastor’s sentiments from just moments ago. “I, well...I-I mean, I don’t know, I was j-just thinking…about it...”

There was still that gentle smile on Father Tucker’s face and his hand now gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze. “I’m about to meet my younger sister for dinner, but I feel like you have a lot you want to talk about. Why don’t you come back Wednesday and we can chat? I’ll make tea.”

“U-uh...I don’t know.” Tweaktape glanced back at the church. He definitely wanted to talk to Father Tucker when he had a more solid plan and had heard back from Myst, but there was no way he could enter the church in his current state. “I-I do want to talk, but I feel like it’s--ngh! Too much pressure here!” He hated how his eyes twitched awkwardly.

Father Tucker was polite enough to pretend he hadn’t noticed and merely nodded at him. “I understand, Mr…?”

“Tweak--!” Idiot. He nearly gave away his real name. “Tweak--!” He repeated, desperately searching for something else to add on to that, but the damage was done. “My name, that is...My name is Tweak Tweak. I-I mean, my first name is spelled differently from the last, so it’s not really the same! T-W-E-E-K, but the last name is with an ‘A’ instead! NGH! Right! I’m Tweek Tweak!”

He was so royally fucked.

“Right…” the priest drawled in a way that wasn’t entirely polite. He probably thought he was high on drugs or something like that by now. But even if he was, it wasn’t supposed to make a difference to a holy man like Father Tucker. “Listen...Mr. Tweak. If it’s too much pressure to talk in the church, we can always meet at the local Harbucks. I don’t mind talking there if you don’t.”

“Y-yeah...I’d like that.” He was finally still under Father Tucker’s steadying hand. The pastor must have sensed that and slowly withdrew his arm, hand comfortingly sliding down Tweaktape’s bicep as he did so. “I’d like that a lot, Father…?”

“Tucker,” he replied. “Let’s say Wednesday at three then. Harbucks.” 

Tweaktape nodded at him and expected the priest would be taking his leave, but he was surprised when the dark-haired man began removing his coat in the middle of a freezing November night in Colorado. “Um…”

“You really shouldn’t be out and about with just a button-up on. If you’re warm, your body will probably stop twitching so much,” Father Tucker explained as he wrapped his coat around Tweaktape’s shoulders. He did stop twitching, if only for a moment as the shock and warmth enveloped him all at once.

When had Tweaktape last known such a gesture of selfless kindness? “Oh...T-thank you…” He swallowed carefully, sliding his arms through the sleeves, and then it finally occurred to him to ask, “B-but what about you...?” 

Father Tucker shrugged his shoulders. “It’s a short walk to my car and then I’ll be home. Just make sure to bring it with you the day after tomorrow, okay?” He gave him that smirk of his. “I’m being mean. I’m making sure you’ll feel guilty if you don’t meet me Wednesday.”

Tweaktape nodded slowly. This Father Tucker guy was really something else. Definitely not what he expected from a priest at all.

“Goodnight, Mr. Tweak.”   

The demon imp Tweaktape stood there, just outside sacred ground with a holy man’s still-warm coat enveloping him like a comfortable hug. He was absolutely dumbstruck and in awe of his situation, so much so that by the time he managed a response, the pastor was already nearly to his car.

“Goodnight, Craig…”


	2. Letter 2

_“The Devil is not afraid to sit on an altar.”_  
-AUSTIN O'MALLEY _, Keystones of Thought_

* * *

 

_My dear Tweaktape,_

_Being on Earth really is hardly a punishment, much less akin to banishment. Need I remind you that it is a part of your duties now and forever? The only grave disappointment I can foresee is you shirking your duties due to a lack of confidence and oversensitivity._

_See here, Tweaktape. Our Father Below has given you this task precisely because He believes in you. He knows you to be one of our potential best and He wants to see your powers grow. It is all according to His plan. Have faith in Him, lest the Enemy win._

_As for your patient, I believe I can be of assistance. Our Father may not know the evils of mercy or kindness, but He is shrewd and cunning and has little tolerance for failure. This is what causes Him to desire your success, because it will be His success in the end. Knowing this, He has sent me to neighboring Bailey, Colorado and I have already resided here for the past five years. I am familiar with all the churchgoers in the area and am especially acquainted with your patient, Father Craig Tucker._

_I refuse to participate in handholding. You are a graduate and should be able to figure this out on your own, but I will give you a hint: all Christians, even priests, must confess. Many do so in neighboring towns. If I were you, I would follow your patient from the spiritual plane until you can listen in on his confessions. Then you will know his secrets and how to twist him around your finger._

_Your affectionate friend_   
_Myst_

* * *

Despite the tone the letter was written in, Myst was sure Tweaktape would appreciate it. Myst may have complained about babying him, but Tweaktape knew how to read between the lines by now. It should have been obvious to him that Myst was trying to boost his confidence in himself and giving him very clear instructions on how to proceed, even if he swore he wasn’t holding his hand through this process. He couldn’t wait to see Tweaktape again. As soon as the imp read his letter, he was sure he would have company of the demonic variety for once.

It was tiring always entertaining human guests and putting on a facade, but Myst found himself carrying on as Father Kenneth McCormick day after day anyway. By now, he’d stolen away so many souls from the Enemy and devoured his fair share too--enough so that when he placed the crucifix around his neck, it didn’t even itch through his clothes. Only a full blown exorcism could rid him from this world now, but who would dare even try to exorcise the friendly neighborhood priest?

He already knew Tweaktape would be shocked. His friend knew he was a powerful demon, but probably hadn’t figured him to be this gifted.

“Sir?” Leopold ‘Butters’ Stotch poked his head into his office without even knocking. By now, he knew he didn’t have to. “Father Tucker has come to confess his sins, if’n that’s alright with you.”

Myst smiled. Butters was his favorite human and he often found himself promising in his mind to eat him last. His soul, at least. After nearly five years with him, Butters had been eaten plenty of other ways. Such a pure, wonderful spirit resided in his body, but it had already been corrupted away from the Enemy long ago. Now every sin was just seasoning for later on down the line. The feast would be delicious and probably make him strong enough to at least arm wrestle Satan’s right hand man. Maybe he could infiltrate the Vatican soon enough.

Myst knew better than to flirt with Butters at a time like this though. Butters may have liked being bent over the altar when nobody else was present on the compound, but during business hours, he was the perfect little deacon. The hypocrisy was enough to make him salivate.

“I’ll be in the confessional in a moment,” he assured his assistant, standing from his seat at his desk.

Butters nodded and scurried away somewhere while Myst proceeded to the confessional box. He could hear the slight rustle of fabric from the other side of the screen and knew that Father Tucker was already situated, ready for his weekly confession. Nothing was out of the ordinary except for the extra pair of eyes on them.

In this human form, Myst couldn’t see him, but he knew Tweaktape was there, hovering over Father Tucker, ready to hang on every word.

Myst removed the crucifix from himself. He couldn’t keep it around his neck and recite prayers without it starting to itch. Mass was still tiresome in that way. The words feel fuzzy on his tongue and it’s always a test of patience until the end when he can scratch at the welts that appear like a bad allergic reaction. As much as he would have liked to believe, Myst wasn’t yet invincible. Even getting through the Hail Mary could seem downright painful at times still. If Tweaktape hadn’t been assigned to Father Tucker, Myst may have tried to devour him next.

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession and I accuse myself of the following sins,” Father Tucker began and Myst licked his lips. He actually sort of gets off to this part of the gig, at least when it came to the juicy parts. Father Tucker wanted to repent for quite a few things, as per usual, but it was what he saved for last that really got Myst going.

He could hear Father Tucker pause and swallow from the other side of the screen and already knew what was coming. “...And I must confess to having impure thoughts once again.”

“What kind of thoughts?” Myst asked as if he didn’t already know. They did this every week and it was always the same. He would send him on his way with assurance that praying away the gay would eventually work.

“I lusted after a bonde man around my age just yesterday,” Father Tucker obediently confessed, and Myst was taken aback by that. Normally, Father Tucker just admitted to thinking homosexual thoughts. This was much more specific and only got juicier.“I even touched him and set up a date, all under the guise of helping him. It was deceitful.”

This was too much. Myst could feel his heart pounding and practically heard Tweaktape spaz out from the spiritual plane. He wanted to laugh with abandon, but ever the professional managed to keep it together. “My child, that is a serious sin indeed. Lust is not a trivial sin and it is your duty to guide the flock, not lead them astray. You must repent.” If he had really cared, he could have counseled him much more on this. Instead, Myst let the priest off with a decade of the Rosary. “Now please make an Act of Contrition.”

Tweaktape must be losing his shit right now.

* * *

Tweaktape was losing his shit right now.

Father Craig Tucker was gay. Not just gay, but a raging homo and _for_ _him_. It may have been a bit of an overstatement, but there was no way around it: Father Tucker was rife with potential sins just waiting to happen. Mr. Cool Priest, Mr. Fun Youth Pastor, Mr. Perfect was nothing more than a sham. He was fallible. He could be undone!

“He’s gay!” Tweaktape repeated for maybe the twelfth time since he had joined up with Myst a few hours after Father Tucker’s confession, the two comfortably in their demonic forms as they enjoyed a bottle of red wine together. “All I have to do is-is--!”

“Kiss him, to start.”

“...Kiss him?” Tweaktape gave Myst a confused look. “That’s hardly what I’d call a serious sin.”

Myst rolled his eyes. “You newbies are all the fucking same. You all want to get your patient to commit some huge sin right off the bat to look cool. ‘Oh, look at me! I got my patient to murder a man!’ Well, guess what? Patients who murder just as often turn back to God in the end. Getting them to gamble away their souls slowly, piece by piece, one game at a time, isn’t luxurious but it doesn’t matter as long as it gets the job done. Cards, murder--it doesn’t matter. But you can’t risk spooking an experienced Christian like Craig Tucker too soon. He’ll run straight back to the Enemy if you aren’t gradual with his descent.”

Myst could tell that Tweaktape hadn’t liked hearing that, but he couldn’t care less. The brat needed to learn.

“So what do I do after the kiss..?”

Myst rolled his eyes. “You’re such a baby, dude. Look, if you kiss him, he’s committing quite the sin as a priest. With every sin you cause, you grow stronger. If you can get him to kiss you, you should be able to enter the church. Keep kissing him for awhile. Make it so that he comes after you, yearns for you even just in the slightest. Then after that, I’d try to see if you could blow him. If that happens, he probably wouldn’t be able to exorcise you on his own. Or at least, crosses wouldn’t have much hold over you if he’s the one wielding them. Not that you should tempt fate, but if you do end up blowing your cover, it will be a lot easier for you to still succeed.”

Tweaktape rolled his tongue over his teeth and hummed, thinking for a moment. “Well. Shouldn’t be too hard…”

“No, it shouldn’t. Even if Father Tucker knows he’s not meeting you with completely pure intentions, he’s still going to try to get you to come back to the Enemy. It’s still his duty as a pastor to lead you back to the church.” Myst ran a finger around his wine glass, eyes darkening just a bit. “Don’t underestimate him, Tweaktape. Tucker isn’t an idiot. The fact that he’s even aware he has these desires, however easily they could be brushed off as innocent, is a bad sign. He doesn’t live in denial. He is not only aware of his sins, but his temptations to sin. It will make him that much more resilient to your craft.”

Tweaktape’s hands instantly went to his blonde hair, gently beginning to tug at the wild strands. He hated all of these mind games. The Training College had classes that focused on philosophy and the way the mind of a man worked, but it was one of Tweaktapes biggest weaknesses. He overthought everything and in the end felt like he knew nothing.

How did an attractive, young, gay man with a sharp tongue end up becoming a pastor anyway?  
Myst laughed when he asked that. “It’s way more common than you think, Tweaktape. The nice thing about your patient is he never felt called to the priesthood.” Father Tucker had confided that in him once. “He felt as if he had no choice. He owed God for sparing him and the life of his little sister. It wasn’t an easy road for them. The Church was there to help when they had nobody else and Father Maxi put him through divinity school.”

“And Father Maxi...?”

A mischievous smile took over Myst’s entire face. With a satanic glow in his eyes, he slowly rubbed his stomach. “Was delicious,” he finished for Tweaktape, enjoying the impressed look he gave him. “His vessel is buried in the back of the South Park Church now. I believe Father Tucker still speaks to his grave at times, though his spirit will never be able to answer.”

How sad. Humans really were pathetic little creatures.

“Father Tucker is pretty hot. You’re lucky you got assigned to him.” Myst knew he would carry on with the seduction route. It was easier to tempt a man to lust than murder and doubly enjoyable if the patient was attractive. “Don’t fuck this up, Tweaktape.”

* * *

Tweaktape’s hands were shaking once more as they fidgeted with the empty coffee cup in front of him. He should get up and grab another before Father Tucker arrived, but he was so nervous and knew he had already drawn attention to himself earlier when he accidentally knocked over a display of holiday special K-cups. The very thought of that incident was embarrassing enough for him to groan and bury his face into his arm.

“Mr. Tweak?” a now-familiar voice interrupted his self-pity. Tweaktape quickly sat up straight so he could look Father Tucker straight in the eyes. “I see you’re still wearing my coat. Does this mean you haven’t found one for yourself?”

Tweaktape felt his cheeks flush with slight embarrassment. He had completely forgotten it would look odd to hand Father Tucker back his coat without a backup for himself.

“I-I’m stealing it,” Tweaktape stuttered out, hoping it sounded like a joke, but judging by the strange look he received from a man at the neighboring table, it didn’t come off that way.

Even so, Father Tucker gave a small chuckle. “Okay, that’s kind of a dick move, but I guess it does look good on you and I don’t want you to freeze to death. Let me get a coffee and then we’ll talk about your situation.”

With his back turned, Tweaktape managed to get a better look at his patient today and noticed he wasn’t wearing his usual black shirt and slacks. The collar was still around his neck, but he had opted for a blue sweater and black jeans today. For all the world, he looked like a normal young man visiting from the local college, and the way he so casually used the phrase ‘dick move’ only made him seem younger. According to Myst, his patient often confessed to swearing and flipping people off every week. It was one of those bad habits he couldn’t seem to break.

In addition, Father Tucker did have a handsome face and it was a shame it hadn’t been put to use since he joined the Enemy. Tweaktape’s fingers twitched at the thought of fixing that. His heart started to beat faster at the image of his lips against the priest’s. It would burn, but only for a few moments, Myst had promised. He might even enjoy it.

“Here. You look like you’re running on empty.” Father Tucker came back carrying two black coffees and set one in front of Tweaktape, keeping the other for himself. He took a sip before giving the imp his full attention. “I sometimes worry I might get addicted to coffee, but there are worse things, right?”

By the way he was looking at him, Tweaktape knew his angle. His lips thinned into a tight line and he twitched once before answering, “L-look, I’m not on drugs, okay? I-I just have anx-anxiety.”

“Oh. Then maybe you should be on drugs.”

It was Tweaktape’s turn to laugh. He liked how casual Father Tucker was and his sarcastic jokes put him at ease. He didn’t seem like such a scary priest when he was acting just like any other guy. If he had been a demon, they might have even been friends. They shared a smile and Tweaktape felt his blackened heart thump in his chest with excitement.

“Maybe,” he agreed. “B-but I was hoping that going back to the--ngh--church might help me even more. Help me find peace, you know?”

Father Tucker did know. He nodded along and took another sip of his coffee. “I hear you. I didn’t know peace until I came back myself. I was a pretty bad kid back in the day, but after I lost my parents, I found God. Or rather, He found me. He’s always there for all of us. But we have to open our eyes and our hearts to salvation. As soon as we learn to accept God’s love, our lives change for the better.”

Tweaktape’s smile was long gone. He had nearly forgotten that Father Tucker, for all his strange quirks and desires, really was the Enemy’s soldier. He had to get used to this preaching if he was going to get underneath his skin and his bedsheets. “It sounds easy when you say it like that,” he replied bitterly.

“Maybe. I know it’s not. But that’s what I’m here for. What’s difficult about this for you? We can work through it together.”

The imp sighed and warmed his hands around the steaming cup of coffee. “Just...Where do I start? I’ve been away from God for so long and sometimes I’m not even sure if I believe in all of this anyway.”

“A common problem. Have you been baptized?”

“Yes,” Tweaktape lied through his teeth. Touching Holy Water would melt his skin. It was imperative he avoid it at all cost. “And confirmed. Mostly for my parents. They always hoped I would get married in a church.”

Father Tucker nodded again and Tweaktape could see that he understood. Religion was so often forced onto someone by their parents. No wonder he was having a crisis of faith. “I get it. This happens all the time, but we can’t live our lives for our parents--we have to live them for God alone. Otherwise you’re just going through the motions and it doesn’t mean much of anything, does it?”

“No, sir,” he agreed. It was true. A half-assed Christian who didn’t really pray or go to church was as good as one of their own. “I know I need to do this. It’s just hard. And I don’t think I’ll ever need to get married in a church. I don’t even know if the Church would want me in the first place. It’s...complicated.”

Tweaktape waited for Father Tucker to take the bait. After Myst had berated him for coming up with ‘the most retarded name in existence’, he made sure Tweaktape had a plan and backstory ready for the next time he ran into Father Tucker. Nothing like posing as a gay, troubled youth to appeal to the savior complex almost all priests had.

“What’s complicated, Mr. Tweak?”

“Call me Tweek,” Tweaktape instructed, shifting nervously in his seat. It was all an act. When Tweaktape was prepared, almost nobody could see through him. He was a terrific actor, a fantastic liar when his lines were ready. “Sorry, Father Tucker, I’m just…” He put his face in his hands and hunched over. “I-I don’t really want to say it out loud, especially to you, because you’ve been s-so nice to me and I don’t want to d-d-disappoint you!”

There was that familiar feeling of Father Tucker’s hand on his shoulder. “Hey. Come on. You can tell me anything, Tweek…” Tweaktape waited for it, his body twitching with anticipation he hoped Father Tucker might mistake for an oncoming sob. “If you’re struggling with your sexuality or gender or something like that, you should know you’re not alone and God loves all His children.”

“I am alone,” Tweaktape hissed back at him, eyes starting to brim up with fake tears. “You don’t understand. Father Tucker, my entire family has abandoned me. I don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t know what I’m doing and this whole thing is so--! So--! Fucked up! I--!”

“Alright, alright. Shh. Shh.” They were still in public and he could tell Father Tucker was beginning to feel bad about making him ‘confess’ what was truly bothering him in the middle of a coffee house. “It’s going to be okay. Tweek, why don’t we go somewhere more private?”

Bingo.

“Y-you mean it…?” he choked out around a shaky breath, wiping at his eyes. “Father Tucker, I don’t want to inconvenience you anymore than I have. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. You don’t need this. You don’t have to--!”

“Tweek.” The pastor’s voice was firm in a way Tweaktape hadn’t experienced before. It got his attention in a way that nearly made him drop his act entirely. “You need to chill out. We’re going to get through this.”

A part of Tweaktape began to feel bad for lying to him. Slowly, he nodded and followed the pastor as he led him out of the coffee shop and towards his car.

“Father Tucker, why are you doing this for me? You don’t even know me.” But Tweaktape helped himself into his passenger seat anyway, happy to go along with this development.

“You remind me of myself.” Father Tucker put his key in the ignition.

“I...how?!” He knew damn well how.

And yet he still wasn’t prepared for the way Father Tucker’s eyes cut through him like a hot knife through butter. Tweaktape nearly swore at the emotions he could practically see brewing in his mind. “You’re not the only gay guy with problems and a crisis of faith, Tweek.”

“What do you mean? F-Father Tucker, are you…?”

“I was,” he replied curtly, beginning to pull out of the parking lot. They hung a left and started down a quiet street. “But through Christ, I’ve managed to abstain from sin.”

“Have you ever--?”

Father Tucker cut him off, eyes still on the road. “That’s personal, Tweek. I’m here to help you. This is about you.”

“Sorry, you’re just...really handsome, so I figured...I know. I know this is why I need help. Because I’m thinking about it, and you, and you’ve been so nice to me so I-I’m even more confused than before!”

The sound Father Tucker made under his breath made Tweaktape feel hot around his ears. A shuddery, frustrated curse like that would be downright seductive in any other situation. He wanted to hear it again. Already, Tweaktape was beginning to imagine what it would be like when he broke Father Tucker’s will.

“Tweek, I’m your pastor now. I am a man of the cloth. You know my actions have nothing to do with the fact that I’m gay. Gay people aren’t evil. Homosexuals can be good Christians so long as we follow the rules.” He looked like he was concentrating a bit too hard on driving as they sat at a red light.

“Maybe I don’t want to follow the rules.”

Father Tucker’s head swung sharply to the right to chastise him, but as soon as he did, Tweaktape’s lips were on his. “Mmgh--!” The imp didn’t let him go, placing a hand on the back of Father Tucker’s neck as he leaned over the console more, hoping to deepen the kiss.

Unfortunately, Father Tucker wasn’t quite so easy to break. He hadn’t pushed back right away, but as soon as the car behind them honked, he shoved Tweaktape away from himself with such force the demon’s head hit the glass of the passenger door. It might have hurt a normal human, but Tweaktape barely noticed, more focused on Father Tucker’s reaction.

The priest cursed and they were suddenly speeding down the one-lane road, Tweaktape’s heart still hammering away in his chest. The priest didn’t say anything and Tweaktape finally murmured, “I’m sorry...I know that was wrong…”

“You’re damn right it was wrong!” Father Tucker seethed, hands gripping the wheel to the point his knuckles were white.

“I’m just missing human affection and touch...I ran away from home and you’re the only person I feel like I can talk to. Now I’ve fucked it all up because I’m weak.”

The car came to an abrupt stop on the side of the road. Father Tucker put his hazards on and gave Tweaktape another sharp look. “Tweek. I’m not going to let you waste away. I know what it’s like to have nobody and to feel like you have nothing, but you have got to understand that I am helping you because I am a man of God. _Not_ because I am a homosexual. As long as we work together, you cannot give in to such base temptations. _Alright_?”

Everything seemed to be going according to plan. It took everything in Tweaktape not to smirk. Who was Father Tucker really talking to? It sounded like he was trying to convince himself just as much as Tweaktape.

“Alright, Father Tucker. I understand, sir.”

Sir. He wondered if Father Tucker was into domination.

This assignment was shaping up to be more fun than he thought. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ideas keep flowing, so I keep writing even though I rarely update a fic so quickly. Guess I'm just anxious to get to the good stuff~! I'm really awful at slowburn, if you couldn't tell. Thanks to Pookiegirl for the feedback and for encouraging me on both story fronts! I hope one day I'll be able to post both, but for now I'm having fun writing this one~!


	3. Letter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it looks like I'll be shooting for 7 total chapters with this fic! Thanks again for everyone's encouragement and I hope you all continue to enjoy~!

_ Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one—the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without  _

_ sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.  _

-C.S. LEWIS _ , The Screwtape Letters _

* * *

_ My dear Myst, _

_ I have not forgotten our last conversation three weeks ago. _

_ I know you told me to be careful and patient, but I could not help trying to steal a kiss from Father Tucker. You may think me a fool, but I am under the assumption that if I give the man a taste, he will continue to think of sinning more often. In addition, I plan to whisper in his ear at night from the spiritual plane in order to encourage wet dreams of the most lascivious variety. I believe this is the best course of action going forward.  _

_ The patient did not respond positively to my first kiss. I have volunteered to help clean the church and would like to reach a point where I can attend mass, but currently am still too weak to do either properly. I still cannot touch anything holy and just being in the church itself gives me a terrible itching sensation. We are lucky most humans assume we cannot possibly exist or that even if we do we are nothing like the stories of old spoke of. But I do wonder how long I can go on without anyone becoming suspicious. That deacon of yours comes around fairly often and the more eyes that are on me, the more pressure I feel.  _

_ But the bigger issue is Father Tucker is now avoiding me. He does not speak to me unless spoken to. I am confident I can still win his soul over and this is not the result of a misstep on my part.  _

_ Perhaps I just need to be more patient.  _

_ Your affectionate friend _

_ Tweaktape _

* * *

 

Tweaktape knew his last letter betrayed him. He knew Myst would be able to see through his false confidence and expected to be berated in response one way or the other. 

Tweaktape was trying to be more confident these days. He wanted to be better at his job and sometimes when he was around Father Tucker, he got such a rush and was so certain he could do this. Even if Father Tucker only spoke to him when he started the conversation, the things he said could be so damn inspiring he was a little jealous of the South Park flock. 

Things had still been a little awkward between them, but it hadn’t stopped the kindly priest from vouching for him at the local Harbucks and getting him a job. It wasn’t necessary, but Myst had advised him to appear as normal as possible so as not to arouse suspicion. When he needed to find a place to stay, Father Tucker had helped with that too and Tricia had brought him a home cooked meal. 

The more time Tweaktape spent watching Father Tucker, the more tortured he knew he was inside. It made the smile he put on all the more amazing. It was all an act. If he weren’t tasked with devouring him, Tweaktape might have liked to see Father Tucker become a demon in the afterlife. He had the raw talent for it. He might have even volunteered to mentor him, though he wasn’t seasoned enough to even come close to being qualified. 

“Oh, Tweek! You’re here today again, huh?” 

Tricia Tucker had been blessed with the same good looks as her brother, but her hair was a bright red that almost bordered on the unnatural. When nobody was paying her any mind, she had a resting bitch face that could put Craig’s to shame, but her smile was even brighter than his. She wasn’t overwhelmingly cheerful though and for this Tweaktape was thankful. He had come to enjoy her company, however brief their interactions were. 

“I’m m-making a habit of it, huh?” He leaned casually on the broom in his hand, returning her smile. “Bringing dinner for your big brother?” 

“Yeah, if I don’t, that moron will probably forget to eat.” Tweaktape didn’t doubt that. Father Tucker was skinny and the demon knew it was mostly due to being too caught up with stress. It was difficult running a parish essentially by oneself, even if it was in the small town of South Park.“But I brought some for you this time, too. You’re always here after work helping out, so I figured why not?” 

A homemade dinner in tupperware was presented to him, even labeled with his name on it. “Y-you made me food?”

“Sure~! Don’t worry, there isn’t any garlic in it. I know you told Craig you’re allergic, so I was careful not to mix them up.” Father Tucker had remembered. Vampires weren’t the only creatures from Hell who had a distaste for the vegetable. “It’s not a big deal. Don’t look so surprised.” 

It was hard for him not to be though. Tweaktape was once again on the receiving end of Tucker kindness. First the job, then the apartment, and he still hadn’t returned the priest’s coat. Father Tucker never asked about it even though he saw him wearing it on a daily basis. Tweaktape had always been told humans were naturally inclined to be selfish and didn’t go out of their way to help others, but given his brief time on Earth, he wasn’t seeing that yet. 

“You’ve just both been very kind to me, Tricia. That’s all,” Tweaktape explained as he opened the tupperware and inhaled the smell of rice and chicken. He didn’t need to eat, but it smelled good and gluttony was a favorite sin of his anyway. 

“You don’t have anyone, right?” They may be kind, but the Tuckers were hardly a polite bunch. Tricia was perhaps even worse than her brother, blunt to the point of insensitivity.“That’s got to be a bitch. You should join us for dinner sometime at our place on nights when Craig isn’t working late.”

“Tricia, what have I told you about swearing in the House of the Lord?” Father Tucker finally appeared from one of the back rooms. 

She flipped him off and her brother didn’t look the least bit surprised. “That it’s okay as long as you’re not around.” 

The priest sighed and glanced over at Tweaktape, but neither said a word to one another. The imp’s lips twitched up into the shyest smile as if to say ‘hello’, but the pastor quickly looked away, focusing on Tricia instead. “You should come to youth group.”

She shoved his dinner into his hands. “No way, Craig.” Tricia spoke with such deadpan finality that it piqued Tweaktape’s interest. “It’s not for me.” 

“Tricia, it is for you. It’s a youth group and you’re not even twenty.” 

Her face scrunched up with annoyance. “You know what I mean. Look, I just came to bring you your dinner. Just...Just fuck off, okay?” 

With that, she was gone, hastily making her retreat out the church’s doors. Tweaktape stared at Father Tucker expectantly, wondering just what the hell was going on with her. He assumed she was just as devoted as her brother to the faith. She came to the church regularly, but now that he thought about it, it was only to see Father Tucker. She never prayed, lit candles, or performed the sign of the cross. Tweaktape had yet to attend a mass in his human form, but now that he thought about it, he couldn’t recall Tricia among the pews on Sunday mornings.

“She doesn’t agree with my decision to be a priest,” Father Tucker finally informed him after a moment of awkward silence. “My sister hasn’t come around to the Truth yet. But she will one day.” 

Tweaktape pursed his lips and set the tupperware still in his hands aside. Tricia hadn’t sounded uncertain about her decision just now. “You, uh...Really think so?” 

“No. I don’t. But I have to,” the holy man admitted with a sigh.

“W-why does she have such a p-problem with the faith?” His nails began to pick at the wooden handle of the broom, dust pile location long forgotten by now. 

Father Tucker shrugged and set his dinner on the edge of a pew. “My sister knows me better than anyone. She knows my past. She was around when I was struggling the way you are now and didn’t, ah...Didn’t think this was healthy…” He looked as if he was chewing on his tongue, all the words leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. “You know. Thinks I’m being oppressed. As if I didn’t choose this for myself.” 

Tweaktape hadn’t expected that one. Interesting. Perhaps Tricia Tucker would make for a useful pawn down the line, but he couldn’t show himself getting too overly excited about this development. “Oh…” 

Father Tucker finally looked him over properly for what Tweaktape could only assume was the first time since their kiss. He finally met his eyes again and held his stare. “You’re doing the right thing, Tweek. Faith is a choice we have to make. We can’t choose the way we are. God made us this way. But it’s a test. Just remember that. Don’t give in to temptation. I know you can find the strength to overcome this.” 

Tweaktape smiled sadly at the pastor. Something about this made his stomach coil in on itself unpleasantly. Here he was, trying to encourage the human Tweek not to succumb to a struggle he knew all too well. Little did he know a demon was trying to drag him right back down into that spiritual battle. Father Tucker was like nothing more than a beautiful, trusting bird in his hands waiting to have the life strangled out of him until he was no more. The thought was supposed to bring him joy, but instead it just made him feel melancholy. Perhaps this was a kind of masochism built into his demonic heart. Some beings were just addicted to a certain type of sadness, and the more time Tweaktape spent with Father Tucker, the more the imp was certain he belonged in this camp. 

“It’s hard, Father. But with you by my side, I don’t feel so alone. I-I feel like I could ta-take on a hundred demons.”

“...You mean that?”

“Of course.” Tweaktape noticed he no longer felt the distinctive itch. His twitching calmed down. “You really inspire me. I know I’ve messed up in the past, b-but you forgave me a-and you’re still here, cheering me on. I can’t help but admire you!”

“Tweek…” There it was. That breathless way he said his name. Sometimes he did it in his sleep after Tweaktape spent hours of the night torturing him with perverted images. He was so close to taking his first step into Hell. “I’ve been...almost ignoring you lately. That’s wrong of a priest, especially since you’ve been helping out so much around here. This place has never looked better. I hope you don’t hold it against me.” 

The blonde shook his head fervently. “No! Not at all! I know you have your duties and I’m so appreciative of all you’ve done for me! I-I just want to make you proud! So, um...That’s why I’ve been thinking of going to Father McCormick’s church over in Bailey…”

“Father McCormick’s? Why?” There was a hint of jealousy in his tone that delighted Tweaktape. He couldn’t wait to tell Myst about this. 

“Father...Please. Ngh! Don’t make this harder on me than it has to be.” Tweaktape bit his lower lip and stared down at his feet for a moment, playing up the bashful act he was putting on. “You should know how I feel. These feelings are wrong and they’re dirty a-and I worry I may try to act on them again, so that’s why...” 

Slender, warm hands were placed on his shoulders again. Tweaktape shook his head a trembled in his grasp. “Tweek, look at me.” Slowly, the demon raised his head, but his eyes refused to meet Father Tucker’s. “Tweek. I’m sorry I’ve been making things more difficult on you, but I don’t want you to think...I had no idea you had actual  _ feelings  _ for me.” 

“I didn’t want you to know. I’m not  _ supposed _ to have these feelings, Father!” Time for the waterworks. First he let his shoulders shake and Father Tucker’s hands squeezed him gently, trying to get him to calm down. “H-how…?” The first tear spilled over and he choked out a small sob, playing up the theatrics. “How can you even look at me right now? I’m a  _ monster _ .” 

“No, no, Tweek...Come here…” Tweaktape found himself being pulled to Father Tucker’s chest and he let out a wail into it, clutching the back of his cossack tightly between his fists. “Tweek, you are a child of the Lord our Savior Jesus Christ. He’s just testing you, just testing  _ both _ of us.”  

Dammit. More preaching. But Tweaktape could hear the pastor’s heart beating wildly against his ear. He needed to wrap this up and get what he was really after. 

“I’m  _ sick _ ,” the demon started off with. “I’m useless and I can’t do anything and I’m just a burden to you! I-I’m so fucking tired of feeling this way. I’m ugly and weak and stupid--!” 

“Hey, hey! Cut that shit out!” A swear word. Progress. “Tweek, you’re none of those things!”

“Yes, I am, I’m--!” 

“TWEEK!” 

Tweaktape stood stock still as the pastor forced him to look at him once again. His breathing was labored, face red, and his body still twitched with fake sobs waiting to happen. But this time Tweaktape met the pastor’s stare head on. He could see everything he’d been waiting for beyond the priest’s eyes. The smell of lust began to linger on him and Tweaktape had to restrain himself from getting high off of it. He licked his lips slowly, mouth suddenly dry. “Father...” 

All he heard was a soft ‘fuck’ before the priest was kissing him. Father Tucker had been the one to lean in first. He had been the one to place his lips over Tweaktape’s as he slowly closed his eyes and let it happen. It was rougher than he anticipated, sexually charged more than he dared even dream, and no doubt the result of those wet dreams he had been sending to him in the middle of the night. 

Tweaktape gently pushed against the priest’s chest. “Father, we can’t--!” Best to let him keep thinking he was trying to be a good little Christian. Myst had told him to be patient and as much as the imp wanted to throw himself at Father Tucker, he needed to play this safe.

It came as a genuine surprise to him when instead of stopping, Father Tucker simply murmured, “Call me Craig. Please. Please, just…”

Holy shit. 

“Craig,” Tweaktape whispered softly, a little unsure of himself until he felt the arms around his waist tighten. 

“You’re too beautiful for your own damn good, Tweek.” 

Fuck. What was with this sweet crap he was spouting now? It was enough to make even a demon like Tweaktape blush. He could hardly breathe as Father Tucker’s lips were pressed against his own once more. This time, Tweaktape wrapped his arms around his neck and allowed himself to just enjoy this for a little while. For just a moment, he didn’t have to pretend to be the human Tweek. He could simply be himself and revel in the lust and sin between them. 

It wasn’t until minutes later when they were both red in the face and breathless that they stopped. Father Tucker looked perverse like this, his lips and the skin around his mouth glossy from Tweaktape’s ministrations, chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. 

“...I gave into temptation again…” Tweaktape whispered as Father Tucker’s hands fell from his waist. “Father Tucker, you have to send me to Father McCormick’s parish.” 

The priest ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “No.”

“ _ No _ ?” He was pleasantly surprised by that answer, but his blood quickly ran cold when he found out why. 

“Father McCormick has been sleeping with a man in his church for the past five years. I can’t let you go to him. You’ll just end up taken advantage of.” 

“Wh-what?! Ngh! T-t-taken advantage of?!” Since when did he know about that? Of course Myst had told him about his little pet, Butters, but he swore it was a secret. The fact that another priest knew about what was going on could be a huge problem for Myst if church authorities were alerted. 

Craig--not Father Tucker, not the polished and cool priest--collapsed into a pew unceremoniously. “I’ve told you before: you’re not the only gay man with religious issues, Tweek. There are plenty out there like us. I can’t tell you how I know what I know. I shouldn’t even be telling you this at all.” He had learned about it through confession, after all. Butters had come to confess his sins to him once when Father McCormick had been away. Father Tucker had known about Father McCormick’s true nature for awhile and been careful to avoid him best he could outside of his own confessions for fear of being drawn into his temptations. 

Leave it to another blonde to ruin him instead. 

“Wh-what are you going to do then?!” 

“Well, first, I’m not going to send you to him,” Father Tucker informed him authoritatively with a scoff. “Don’t worry about Father McCormick. I’ll deal with him when I can. But you should stay away from him. He has a thing for cute blondes. I know I wasn’t exactly the pinnacle of holiness just now, but you, uh...y-you wanted it, right?”

There was a light blush on the pastor’s cheeks and Tweaktape smiled at how uncomfortable this whole situation was making him. “That’s probably not appropriate, Father. But if you’re asking if you forced me into anything, no. The fault was both of ours.” 

Father Tucker let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding, crumpling forward until his forearms rested on his knees. He looked oddly relieved. “That shouldn’t make me feel better, but it does.” 

Tweaktape licked his lips slowly. He could still taste Father Tucker on himself. He knew he was getting greedy and impatient, but the relief to finally be able to be in this damned church without feeling like there were ants in his pants was indescribable. 

“...Is kissing another man really such a sin?”

Craig looked at him as if he had two heads. “Of course it is! There is lust involved, Tweek.” 

“But is it only lust? Would lust alone drive us to this point?” 

Craig’s eyes softened. “Tweek, you’re being…” 

“Gay?” That finally managed a laugh from the pastor and Tweaktape sat down beside him, close enough to lean against his shoulder. “I’ve sinned a lot in the past, Father. But with you, it doesn’t feel wrong. It just feels so... _ right _ .”  

“Okay, now  _ that’s _ gay.” But his arm came up to rest around his shoulders and pull him closer to his body. “We’ll have to stop eventually.” 

“Oh, sure. Eventually.” Better than immediately. At least Father Tucker was a realist. 

“Tweek, I mean it. We can’t let this go on. We can’t let it go any further. I’d feel like I was...corrupting you.” 

The irony wasn’t lost on Tweaktape. Even so, he smiled up at Father Tucker innocently. “Just little, friendly pecks without lust aren’t a sin. We’ll keep it chaste.” 

A sin in the heart is just as bad as actually committing the sin itself. Father Tucker must have known that, but he still nodded his head in agreement anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter has already been written and will be posted in a few days as I get to work on chapter 5~! I've never finished a story that isn't a one-shot before, but I really want to see this through to the end.


	4. Letter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[Is it too late to leave a disclaimer saying I'm not trying to mock or smack talk anyone's religion? I feel like I should have mentioned that somewhere. I also may not have everything 100% right, though I've tried to do my research. I only had my first communion and even though I went to Catholic high school and attended mass, I was never really invested in Catholicism from a personal standpoint, though it has always been of interest to me.
> 
> And to anyone who is gay and Christian or struggling with their identity and religion in general, I hope you know it's going to be okay. You're not alone.
> 
> That being said, this fic is finally taking a turn for the explicit and sinful.]]

_I mean, the more a man was in the Devil's power, the less he would be aware of it, on the principle that a man is still fairly sober as long as he knows he's drunk._

-C. S. LEWIS, _God in the Dock_

* * *

_My dear Tweaktape,_

_Your letters trouble me more with each week that passes. They no longer read like reports on your duties, but_ _love letters_ _. Please keep in mind that you are to conduct yourself professionally, no matter how sweet your patient’s ass may be._

_I am also concerned that you have made little progress in the past few months. You have been able to attend mass, however uncomfortably, for nearly four months now but still cannot take the eucharist. How long until the patient pushes you to receive that monstrous weapon that even I still cannot stomach without becoming sick later? It’s all very well and good that the priest wants to slam you against the altar and make out until you’re both nearly caught cumming in your pants, but unless he’s actually started to give you the dick, this is nothing new and you are not progressing or getting any stronger._

_Father Tucker is your only patient at present. He should have been devoured by now. Were it not for your discretion in the matter of one of my own patients, I would have reported your unsatisfactory performance to Coongrand by now. You don’t want that fat bastard on your case. As far as I am concerned, we are keeping each other’s shitty performances a secret, but unlike you, I have other souls to prove my efforts and cover my ass._

_You, on the other hand, have not yet contributed a soul to Satan’s army, nor have you eaten the one you were assigned. Your ass is on the line, greenhorn. Clearly you have potential, so don’t throw it all away on one measly human priest._

_Your affectionate friend_

_Myst_

* * *

 

The months seemed to fly by. Tweaktape sometimes wasn’t sure where his life as a human ended and his duties as a demon began. The memories all just seemed to blur together.

Father Tucker enjoying a Dr. Pepper at Mike’s Lanes while the elementary school children bowl together. Tweaktape saying something that makes Craig laugh so hard, soda comes out his nose and they disappear to the bathroom to cleanup for just maybe a little too long.

Father Tucker suggesting Tweek bake cupcakes to calm himself down over the North Korean threat. Tweaktape pulling out his hair because he’s more excited about the prospect of nuclear war than worried about it, until he realizes Craig might die. Craig telling him the cupcakes are delicious and they have nothing to worry about.

Father Tucker playing basketball with the high school kids from his youth group. Tweaktape joining in until they’re the only two left on the court. Craig demanding a victory kiss when he beats Tweek at Horse.

Father Tucker admitting he used to cut class, smoke cigarettes, and practically live in the principal’s office until the car accident that took his parents’ lives. Tweek listening patiently as he struggles to find the words to describe what it was like suddenly having to grow up overnight, turning over a new leaf under Father Maxi, and being responsible for taking care of Tricia. Craig joking about how guinea pigs were quieter and easier to love than his rebellious little sister.

Father Tucker teaching him how to drive a car for the first time. Tweaktape slamming on the brakes too hard and too often to the point that Craig becomes carsick. Tweek rubbing his back and apologizing to him while Craig pukes into a public trash can, assuring him it’s alright between rounds of blowing chunks.

Father Tucker finding an old record player along with a copy of a Beach Boys vinyl down in the basement of the church and setting it up in his study. Tweaktape learning how to dance with one hand of Craig’s on the small of his back, the other in his own, while the lyrics ‘ _wouldn’t  it be nice to live together in the kind of world where we belong_ ’ blast in the background.

Father Tucker playing his guitar for a group of kindergartners. Tweek distributing blankets to them as they fall asleep for their naptime one by one until the songs Craig sings are no longer about Jesus, but are just meant especially for him, leaving Tweaktape to wonder if they’re for  human Tweek or his true self.

Father Tucker standing over Father Maxi’s grave just as it begins to rain, talking to his mentor’s buried vessel whose soul doesn’t exist on any plane anymore and therefore could never offer anyone spiritual guidance. Tweaktape appearing behind him with an umbrella just as it begins to downpour and Craig looking at him as though he’s the answer Maxi sent him.

And then Tricia Tucker lying in the snow with Tweaktape making snow angels like they’re both little kids because Tweek has never tried it before and Tricia has had a shit day at community college and just wants to go back to being a kid for a little bit. Father Tucker watching them out his study’s window with a small smile on his face, the promise of hot chocolate waiting for them in that look. _“You make Craig so happy,”_ Tricia tells him, and Tweaktape still isn’t sure if it’s Tweek or Tweaktape that makes her brother happy, but he agrees with her and tells her that Craig makes him happy too. _“I’m glad he has you now. Maybe you can get him to change his mind about being chaste for the rest of his miserable life.”_

Chaste his ass. Father Tucker was one handsy bastard and he’s had Tweaktape mewling into his mouth more times than he can count after nearly five months of blissful torture. His kisses made him hot and turned him on more than anything else these days, but no matter how much Tweaktape pushed his hard-on against Father Tucker’s leg or even his own clothed erection, the priest wouldn’t fucking budge. The amount of times Tweaktape had to disappear to take care of himself is embarrassing and Myst wouldn’t let him live it down if he knew.

“Fuck, I want you so bad…” Tweaktape begged as they continued their most recent makeout session in the confession booth, no less. Apparently Father Tucker didn’t care where they sinned. His study, his home, Tweek’s apartment, the confessional booth; it was all the same, wasn’t it? “Nobody would know…”

“Jesus would know,” Craig whispered into his ear as he planted another kiss on his neck.

“Fuck you!” Tweaktape whined and he hated how it was himself, not his human persona Tweek, saying that. He stopped acting during their rounds a long time ago.

Craig only nipped his neck harder in response. “I’ll leave marks if you don’t shut up.”

As if that would bother Tweaktape. Thanks to Craig’s threat he had pitched a full tent in his pants.

“J-just please...let me suck you off?” he continued to beg weakly, trying to palm the priest through his pants.

“Tweek!” Craig hissed with aggravation, finally pulling away so he could pin Tweaktape’s hand to the wall. “Stop it! You know we can’t!”

“I’m dying, Craig! I need you! If I were a woman--!”

“It wouldn’t be any better!” Tweaktape felt a little guilty. Craig actually looked hurt that he suggested things would be any different if they were heterosexuals.

“I’d try to make you leave,” Tweaktape covered with instead, egging him on. He remembered Tricia’s words and wondered for a brief moment if she had tried to suggest leaving to him recently. Apparently she had been very vocal in the past as well as the present about her disagreement with his decision.“If I were a woman, I’d ask you to leave the priesthood for me. I know that’s wrong, but that’s how much I want you. I’d want us to be able to be together.”

“What are you saying?” Craig looked at him as if he was trying to piece together a particularly complicated math problem. Tweaktape would even dare say he looked a little scared. “You’d make a husband out of me?”

That hadn’t been where he was going with that, but it made sense Craig’s mind would immediately jump to the extreme. Why leave a sacred vow for something that might be just a maybe? If he was going to leave, it would probably need to be to make a whole different set of vows just as important. Tweaktape felt like he had opened a can of worms, but there was no stopping now.

“What’s wrong with that?” Dammit. He could feel his erection starting to fade with all this talking and just wished he could take it back, pretend he had never brought this up.

Craig sat back and sighed softly. “Tweek, I had no idea your feelings for me were so strong...Leave my vows for marriage? _Gay_ marriage?”

Commitment was a total mood killer. Everyone knew that. Tweaktape felt like an incompetent tempter once more. He could already hear his professors' voices berating him for his careless mistake. “I-I didn’t mean anything by it, Craig. Don’t look into it too much. I’m not trying to pin you down or anything.”

“Yes, because I just casually make out with _all_ the men of my flock. It’s not like you’re special or anything.”

The demon frowned. What the hell was wrong with him today? “L-listen, I didn’t ask to be _special_ to you or for any gay shit like that, okay? You don’t owe me anything. I was just trying to be s-sexy and you went ahead and made it about f-feelings and marriage and crap--!”

“You basically asked me to run away with you! Leave the priesthood? Are you _insane_? Have you lost it?”

“Have you?!” Tweaktape couldn’t take it anymore. He knew he was jeopardizing his entire mission, but he just couldn’t handle the way Craig was pussyfooting around with his feelings and desires. He was such a goddamn hypocrite to be here in this compromising position and then try to take the moral high ground, as if suggesting he leave the priesthood after all this dicking around wasn’t the logical next step. He didn’t need to act as Tweek to find the words he spewed out at him. At this moment, they were one and the same. “Fuck you, Craig! The priesthood is bullshit! What’s so wrong about wanting to be with you? What’s so wrong about this or with even wanting more? You’re living a goddamn lie and you know it! Tricia knows it! I know it! You’re f-f-full of shit! I can take being just your boy toy--! Ngh! B-b-but I’m tired of seeing you lie to yourself!”

The hand Craig had in his hair was clenching his locks so tight, it was painful. They were scowling at each other intently now and Tweaktape wondered if maybe somewhere deep down in his blackening soul, Craig actually hated him for what he was doing to him. It worked out well for his mission either way. Their kind thrived on hatred, but the thought of the man who had been so kind and shown him what he could only assume was acts of love beginning to hate him made his stomach lurch until he felt sick. His nose twitched as Craig yanked on his hair, head slamming back against the wall again.

“You were sent by God to tempt me.” Close enough, Tweaktape supposed. God, Satan...Who was doing the tormenting hadn’t affected Job much one way or the other. “I thought being gay was my cross to bear, but it’s _you_ . I’ve never cared about anyone as much as I care about you. But I’m poison. Look at yourself, Tweek. You’re a _whore_ .” That would have turned him on usually, but the sinking feeling in Tweaktape’s stomach remained, like he had failed again. “I’m ruining you and I _like_ it. I _love_ seeing you like this. I love your filthy mouth and I love the way you feel against me and I just _fucking_ love _you_ sooo much, I can’t believe I’m corrupting you like this. I’m your _priest_.”

Whoa. Tweaktape hadn’t expected that. Craig had the whole thing backwards, but Tweaktape did feel pleased with himself all of a sudden, the bad feelings from before disappearing. He was practically giddy. He hadn’t even tempted Craig into doing anything more sinful than usual. Myst said he could get his patient to walk into Hell willingly with just small sins, but he still wanted to seal the deal with something a little more hardcore than stolen kisses.

That smug feeling inside of Tweaktape shriveled up and died quickly when he felt a drop of warm water land on his face though. The unflappable Craig Tucker was still towering over him, but he was crying, his larger frame wracked with silent sobs. Even now, he wouldn’t allow himself to get too emotional.“ _I’m your priest,_ ” he repeated in a whisper. “I _wish_ I could love you the way a man loves a woman. I _wish_ I could give you everything. Instead, I’m _ruining_ you. This is how I know the Devil exists. He tempts me every single fucking moment of my life with you and I’m too weak to do anything about it. I’m just dragging you down with me.”

Tweaktape never felt bad for his existence as he had known it, but as he watched Father Tucker break down in front of him, he was struck by how _wrong_ everything was and how it was all his fault. Craig never cried. Craig was always the image of calm, cool, and collected. It had never occurred to Tweaktape that he might actually develop genuine feelings for the human Tweek. It was all about getting him to give in to his carnal desires. Desires of the heart hadn’t been a part of his equation at all.

In that moment, he wanted to tell Craig everything.

“I’ve never met a kinder human…” Tweaktape whispered back.

Craig coughed. He wasn’t used to crying like a little bitch like this. His crying was ugly and he hated every second of it. “F-fucking weird shit to say, Tweek.”

“It’s true though. You really are what makes Earth nice to visit…” He was speaking as Tweaktape, not Tweek. Humans were reviled by demons and their world was considered foul, but Tweaktape had found his time on this little blue marble in space to be the best he’d ever known. His heart lurched at the thought of eating Craig’s soul and crushing him out of existence. The universe would be so much lonelier without him, but it had to be done. If Myst were there, he was sure he’d tell them there would be others down the line. “I wish it didn’t have to be this way.”

“Me too…Weirdo alien.”

Craig thought he was just playing around. Tweaktape’s heart hurt for some reason. He wished he wasn't so green in this department. Masochism was supposed to bring you pleasure when pain was inflicted upon you, right? So why did this pain feel so damn awful? Who could get off to this?

“I can’t do this anymore, Craig.”

“I know. You want more. You _deserve_ more, Tweek.”

The imp shook his head. “No. No, you’re the one who deserves more. I’m sorry, Craig. I never thought I’d really mean that, but I do.” Tweek apologized all of the time, but for Tweaktape, this was a first. He had to end this. Myst had been right. He was losing himself over one measly human priest. If this carried on much longer, he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to go through with it. “Just...stop blaming yourself. You’re not the demon here.”

“What, and you are?”

Tweaktape was silent for a moment, bouncing around the idea of actually telling Craig the truth. He had wanted to for awhile, as if that would make this fucked up situation somehow okay, as if that would even them out. Craig still hadn’t realized he was beyond saving and maybe a small part of Tweaktape wanted to believe that even though he knew it was futile.

Something in his eyes must have looked a little guilty because Craig suddenly lifted himself off of him. “Tweek, come on. Don’t try to be funny and fuck around with demons. That shit is actually pretty serious.”

“I know.” Tweaktape sighed and ran one hand over Craig’s cheek, feeling his five o’clock shadow starting to grow in, while his other hand went to run itself through Craig’s silky black hair. The priest sighed softly against his palm and closed his eyes for a moment. “Craig, I like you a lot. So much that it actually...kinda hurts me to deceive you a-and I’ve never felt like that before...”

Craig’s eyes flew open and they were starting to look a little scared. He pulled away from Tweaktape as if he had made to stab him right through the heart. “What the fuck are you talking about, Tweek? Are you cheating on me or something?” As if they were actually even together. 

“Y-you wish.” Tweaktape laughed and began to leave the confessional. “I c-c-can’t take this anymore, Craig.” He gathered Craig’s long-ago hijacked coat and headed for the door of the church. “P-people are waiting on me. I have expectations I-I need to live up to. There’s so much pressure, you can't possibly understand! No matter how much I l-like you, I can’t put this off f-f-forever, but it also doesn’t feel right leaving you without a fair shot. So pray a few Hail Marys. Th-th-they won’t do you any good! In the end, you’re going to be mine.”

Father Craig Tucker wasn’t sure what the fuck just happened, but as the heavy church door swung shut with a certain finality, he had a bad feeling about the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [[I just really wanted to thank each and every one of you who have commented, bookmarked, and left kudos. I've never had such a positive response to a story before and this was my first real dive into the South Park fandom. I've never had a better experience in any fandom I've ever been in before and I think that really says something about all of us. I hope you all continue to enjoy this fic and continue to be kind~!]]


	5. Letter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This is where the dub-con (or non-con depending on how you look at it) comes into play. This is probably going to be the most explicit chapter. Originally, I was only going to make this a smutty one-shot and it was going to mostly compose of the first half of this chapter. It's my first ever smut scene I've written, so I hope you enjoy!

_ People shouldn't call for demons unless they really mean what they say. _

-C. S. LEWIS,  _ The Last Battle _

* * *

 

_ My dear Myst,  _

_ Thank you for your extremely crass reminders of my lack of progress and clandestine suggestion that I might be a traitor. It was exactly the sort of thing I wanted to hear while I am struggling and was much appreciated.  _

_ If you are quite done bitching about the fact that Butters is no longer putting out as frequently as he used to due to my patient’s inquiries, I would like to propose a plan that would require your assistance as Father McCormick.  _

_ By dawn, his soul will be bound to me so thoroughly, not even an angel could intervene. I am sure you know what tactic I am suggesting given our situation. I believe this plan would also alleviate your fears of my patient turning you in to the church authorities. I understand that this is unconventional, but having another priest as a pawn for us to control and manipulate will serve us well in the long run. Our Father Below should find this acceptable.  _

_ Have everything ready for him.  _

_ By the time you read this, I will have already started to put this plan into action.  _

_ Your affectionate friend _

_ Tweaktape _

* * *

His last letter to Myst had been dripping with sarcasm, but Tweaktape knew his fellow tempter would read it to completion and he could rely on the veteran. Myst may not agree with the decision he made given what forging a contract with Father Tucker would mean, but Tweaktape was afraid Craig would try to get the bishop perform an exorcism before he could finish corrupting him. Craig wasn’t his just yet, but after tonight, he would be.

It took awhile for Father Tucker to fall asleep that night, no doubt irked by his earlier conversation with Tweek. Tweaktape watched from the spiritual plane as he tossed and turned in his twin-sized bed. The pastor had never anticipated he would need room for two and a full just seemed like more space and luxury than a priest should have.

But in his dreams, Tweaktape sent him visions of sin on expensive linens stretched out over a king-sized bed strewn with silk pillows. The demon whispered in his ear, encouraging the holy man to lose his inhibitions and just take him like the bad little slut that he was. There was always a little resistance from Father Tucker subconsciously, but it didn’t take much more to get him to start to enjoy his fabricated dreams. The image of Tweek on his knees and completely exposed, playing with himself while he waited for Craig to join him on the bed should be enough. “That’s it...You know I deserve this. You know only you have the right to punish me for being so bad…” he whispered hotly as a spirit into his ear before deciding to take it to the next level. 

Tweaktape had never attempted this before with a mortal, but once he was certain Craig was in a deep sleep and aroused enough by the wet dreams he had conjured for him, the imp allowed his human body to take solid form. “Let me do something nice for you, Craig.” His voice was still hushed as he spoke. Tricia was just across the hall and as supportive as she might be of their blossoming relationship, the last thing the blonde needed was for her to find his lips wrapped tightly around her unconscious brother’s erection. 

Tweaktape’s eyes watched Craig’s face carefully as he pulled back first his blankets and then his boxers. Aside from a twitch every now and again, the man was still fast asleep, caught up in his fantasies. “Do you want to fuck my mouth, Craig?” The demon was finally in his element. When Tweaktape was sexy and confident like this, all of his stuttering and twitching stopped. Putting on a lascivious act was therapeutic for him in a way. “You know you could. You know I would like it.” 

Even though this was just work for Tweaktape, he was a little excited. As soon as Craig’s cock was in front of him, he licked his lips with anticipation, placing a small kiss to the tip before running his tongue along the length of him. Bottom to top, then he flicked his tongue around the head, reveling in the way he heard Craig’s breath hitch in his sleep. “Mm...I have to get you ready for me. You’re so big, you’ll split me open if I don’t.” 

There was a smirk playing on his lips just a moment before he gently wrapped his mouth around Craig’s cock. He couldn’t risk waking him too early, so for now he gave a few slow, shallow bobs of his head, letting the priest get used to the feeling of his warm, wet mouth enveloping him. 

Tweaktape glanced up at Craig every now and then to make sure he was still asleep, and after a minute of slowly taking inch by inch of him into his mouth, he decided to go all the way, straight down to the hilt, humming all the while. “Mmm…” 

He nearly coughed with surprise and jumped a bit when he felt a hand place itself on the back of his head. His eyes quickly shot up to Craig’s face again, but the pastor still seemed to be fast asleep. It had just been an unconscious move. He must be dreaming about this now.

Encouraged, Tweaktape began to suck harder, his cheeks hollowing as he began to move faster. The deeper he forced Craig’s dick down his throat, the sloppier the blowjob became. Already he could feel his entire chin coated with saliva and it gave him a small chill as he paused for air, gasping for breath as he admired the small but noticeable string of spit that still connected his wanting mouth to Craig’s pulsing erection. “Fuck, I need this. I need you.” It was less lip service now, more a matter of fact.

He was starting to lose himself and wanted to just let lust and instinct take over. Tweaktape gave a firm lick to the underside of Craig’s penis before traveling even further south to suck lightly on his balls, enjoying the way they moved under his mouth and the half-conscious moan that left Craig’s body as he did so. 

No holding back now. Tweaktape hummed and began to work Craig harder and faster in his mouth. It was easier to take him to the back of his throat now that his entire length was slick with his saliva, but he opted for shallower, harder, faster sucks while his right hand made up the difference. The hand on the back of his head was soon fisting itself into his blonde hair and then Tweaktape heard it. 

“Oh, fuuuuck…” 

Tweaktape paused momentarily to glance up at the priest. Craig only had his eyes half open, and for all the world still looked like he was living in a dream. Craig must have thought so too as he closed his eyes, only for them to snap back open a second later when the demon hummed and deepthroated him again, his tongue slipping past his mouth to flick over his balls. Tweaktape loved the way his breath caught as he realized he was finally living out one of his fantasies. 

The imp couldn’t help but tease him. “Mmm…” He pulled his mouth from Craig’s length and let his tongue hang out perversely, using his hand to slap the priest’s cock against it, then pressing it against the inside of his cheeks, making them bulge out lewdly. The tortured sound Craig made was music to his ears. “You’re right, Craig. I’m your whore and  _ I love it. _ ” To punctuate that statement, Tweaktape ran his tongue from base to tip over Craig once more before taking him back in his mouth. 

Craig hadn’t moved much since he awoke to find the object of his affections sucking his cock as if his life depended on it, but as Tweaktape worked him harder, the hand in his hair grew tighter and it wasn’t long before the priest’s hips were giving shallow thrusts up into Tweaktape’s mouth. The blonde moaned with encouragement, eyes seeking Craig’s. The helpless man had his other fist jammed firmly in his mouth, blocking out all the sinful noises he wanted to make. His face was the picture of concentration, holding back but knowing he couldn’t forever. Tweaktape had to pause for a moment. “Shit, you look so fucking hot right now...Give this to me. Stop fighting it.” 

Craig’s chest shook with the effort not to blow his wad right then and there. He wanted Tweaktape’s wet and warm little mouth tight around him again. As soon as the demon gave him what he wanted, both of Craig’s hands ran through his hair and held him in place as he finally gave in. No longer resisting what was happening, Craig began to thrust his hips up into Tweaktape’s mouth with abandon, fucking his face and moaning softly as he heard the perverse squelching noise each time he hit the back of his throat. 

It was a mistake for Craig to glance down at the sinful image before him. He was concerned he might be hurting Tweek, but one look at the other man’s face ruined him. There was a hunger in his eyes and his lips were practically upturned into a smirk even as he continued to thrust between them. “A-agh…!” He couldn’t hold back anymore. With a pathetic whimper, Craig finally let go and came down Tweaktape’s throat, hands fisting his blonde hair almost painfully as he held him there. Tweaktape never stopped sucking, but he did slowly start to pull away, the last of Craig’s cum catching on his right cheek and lips instead of down his gullet. The lewd sight of it all made Craig blush even harder, his spent cock twitching one last time as the head pooled with the last of his essence. 

Tweaktape flicked his tongue out to catch and swallow the sperm that hadn’t made it into his mouth, then wiped at his cheek and sucked the last of the cum that had missed its mark off his thumb. “Not bad, Craig.” Still not quite done with him yet, Tweaktape flicked his tongue over Craig’s slit, making sure not to miss a single drop. “I like the way you taste.” Better than the sulfuric splooge of his fellow hell spawn, that was for sure. 

“Tweek...How did you even…?” Craig was quickly trying to slip back into his role of Father Tucker. Tweaktape could feel the change and pouted as Craig quickly pulled his pants back up and reached to hand him a few tissues, despite still being out of breath. 

“D-did you like it?” he asked, answering with a question of his own, hating the way he stuttered.

“Did I…? Fuck, Tweek, I mean…!” 

“You did.” He quickly found his confidence again. He couldn’t let up now. “You loved it. You’ve been dreaming about fucking my hot little mouth for months now.” 

It’s kind of cute how scared Craig looked now, trembling like one of those guinea pigs he liked so much, eyes wide with an unspoken terror. Craig could sense that something had changed in the blonde before him. Tweek was long gone. From now on, there would be only Tweaktape and his demonic presence wherever Craig went.

“Father Tucker, you really should just give in.”

It felt good to be his demonic self on Earth. Craig couldn’t get rid of him on his own anymore, his soul too blackened, his sins fresh and unforgiven. What was the harm in Tweaktape revealing his horns, his wings, and his pointed tail? It would all end up going according to plan anyway. As he took on his true form, it felt like slipping into a comfortable pair of pajamas after a long day in professional wear. Tweaktape had longed to feel this comfortable around Craig, to just be himself in front of the priest. There was something freeing in this moment. 

“I’ve already won. Let’s go to Hell together...When we’re there, we can do this every day and even more. All your wildest dreams, we can put them into practice. That’s the real Heaven, isn’t it?” Tweaktape watched with amusement as Craig’s eyes grew more wild. He was the cornered animal, Tweaktape his most natural predator. The demon watched with a smirk, waiting for Craig to make the first move. 

All of a sudden, the priest reached for a crucifix on his bedside table, holding it out in front of Tweaktape’s face. The imp just laughed. He had never felt so _ good  _ before. If this was the rush of power he got just from letting Craig use his mouth as a sex toy, he couldn’t imagine what sodomy, let alone eating his corrupted soul, would lead to. He felt unstoppable. “Weak!” he laughed, batting the crucifix aside, watching it burn and splinter with satisfaction. It hadn’t hurt at all. Drunk on his new power, Tweaktape held out his arm and made a fist, giggling with satisfaction as Craig’s body slammed against the wall, pinned to it by his invisible might. Tweaktape had him completely bound. If the demon weren’t still technically just doing his job, he would have enjoyed working Craig up again until he was begging to bend Tweaktape over and find release inside of him. Something for the future, he supposed, a smug smile playing at his lips.“You’re weak, Tucker! You, and your god!”  

“This can’t be happening. My boyfriend just turned into a fucking demon...” There was that unflappable calmness in his voice that Craig was known for, even as he remained pinned to the wall and couldn’t move anything but his neck. But the demon could smell the fear on him even as Craig’s voice remained monotone in his disbelief. 

“What will you do now,  _ Father Tucker _ ?” Tweaktape spat out mockingly, just waiting for Craig to try something else. This was how things should be.  _ This _ was how a demon was supposed to act. Cold, callous, mocking, and violent. No more stolen kisses, encouraging words, or acts of kindness. Humans were vermin meant to be enslaved.

It didn’t take long for Craig to try out out a new game plan, but Tweaktape expected as much. Humans were all so predictable. “Hail Mary, full of Grace, the Lord is with thee…” 

“W-what? Stop it! Cut that out!” As if a weak English prayer like that could hurt him now. Tweaktape loosened Craig’s bindings until the priest sank back to his bed again. Thank goodness he was at least a decent actor. It had always been his best subject. 

“Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.”

“N-ngh! No! Stop! You won’t win!” Tweaktape held his head in pain, as if Craig’s prayer actually meant anything coming from his sinful lips at this point. 

Craig’s voice only got louder as he made a move to his bedroom door, watching carefully as Tweaktape started to writhe like a man possessed. Perhaps that’s what he thought was going on here. “Holy Mary Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death!”

“NO!” the demon shrieked, falling to his knees and writhing on the floor. “NO!” 

“What the fuck is going on?!” If she hadn’t been before, Tricia Tucker was wide awake now, standing just outside the door, but Craig quickly pushed her forward down the hall and away from Tweaktape’s wrath. 

“We need to leave, now! Go to Clyde’s! I need to get Father McCormick. Tweek is...H-he’s not well.” Like Tricia would ever believe what just happened. Craig could hardly believe it himself. Weird shit seemed to happen all the time in South Park, but nothing supernatural like this. There was no time to explain though. He had to save Tweek. Whatever monster was possessing him, he was going to get rid of it. There had to be an exorcism. “What the fuck are you standing around for? GO!” 

Tricia looked like she had more questions, but she was scared by her brother’s own panicked words and quickly grabbed her coat and keys as both siblings rushed out the door and into their respective cars. 

* * *

At a red light, Craig fumbled with a spare plastic collar he always kept in his glove compartment, just in case there was ever an accident and he needed to perform last rites. His hands shook as he tried to put it on properly. Tweek had completely brushed aside his crucifix. Whatever had a hold of him, it was darker than anything Craig could ever imagine and it was all  _ his _ fault. He never took the Church’s words on demons seriously. Sure, there were mandatory classes he had to attend, but there were so many different philosophies behind demons and he never bought into the fact they could actually possess anyone.

It was amazing he didn’t hit any poor, unsuspecting wildlife or get pulled over by the police in his haste to make it to Bailey. All he could think about was getting to Father McCormick’s rectory and bringing him back to Tweek. Would his home be in flames by the time he returned? Tweek had looked so utterly demonic, it was something out of one of his worst nightmares. 

“Father!” Craig beat heavily on Father McCormick’s door, desperate to rouse the man from his slumber. If he had been in the right state of mind, it may have surprised him that it took only three pounds of his fist on the wood for the other priest to appear, wide awake and already dressed. “Father McCormick, it’s Tweek! He’s--! I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with him, but it’s like he’s fucking possessed!” 

Father McCormick only gave him an incredulous look. “Whoa, dude, calm down. I don’t know what’s got you all worked up, but Tweek’s always been a strange one. He’s got that twitch, you know?” 

“It’s not about his twitching! He had fucking horns and a tail!” Even Craig knew he must have sounded like a madman. “Please, you have to believe me. I tried to invoke the power of Christ, but he just swatted away my crucifix like it was nothing! It just started smoking!” 

Now that seemed to have the other priest’s attention. “It started smoking? Like, it caught on fire? Did you try to invoke the power of prayer?” 

“It’s the only reason I’m still alive. Mother Mary protected me, but we can’t just leave him like this!” 

“Hm…” Father McCormick seemed to think it over for a moment, shaking his head slowly. “There’s no way around it then. Father Tucker, follow me.” He stepped aside, allowing Craig passage into his home.

That was the last thing Craig wanted to do. He couldn’t imagine why he would join Father McCormick in his humble abode. For what, a spot of tea? His mind was only on one track now. “No, we have to go back to Tweek!” 

“Tweek will come if called. We need to act fast though. Every moment that demon has hold of him, the more damage it will do to his body. If you want to save him, we have to make sure we prepare ourselves or we’re going to be next.”

This time, Father McCormick didn’t wait for him. He turned his back on Craig, confident he would follow. Slowly but surely, Craig entered the rectory and closed the door behind him, head still spinning. “How do you know so much about this…?” 

“Who do you think is the go-to exorcist for this diocese?” Father McCormick walked into his bedroom and reappeared moments later with a large, black briefcase. “You think the bishop is still young and spry enough to handle this sort of thing? Most of the time, the requests just get forwarded to me.”

“You? They trust you with this sort of thing?” Craig had no idea Father McCormick had been given such power. Only priests with permission from the bishop were normally allowed to conduct exorcisms. Craig had never even bothered to have a kit ready. It just never seemed possible to him and if it was, he never expected matters to be so urgent. Most people who claimed they were possessed were usually on drugs or mentally ill. “Don’t we need the bishop’s permission at least? Or a medical evaluation?” 

“You really think you have the time to follow all the rules after what you saw? We know you’re sober and even if Tweek is a bit of a fruit loop, you know what he’s normally like and I’m guessing this isn’t it.” Craig agreed with Father McCormick, but it was still hard for him to wrap his head around what was happening. Following procedure was logical and stable. It made him feel like he still had control. Now he had to place all of his trust in Father McCormick.“As soon as you tried to drive out the demon with a crucifix and prayer, you started the exorcism. Now we have no choice but to see it through to the end. Whatever demon we’re dealing with, it’s already attached to you now. We have to proceed and I need you to follow my orders.” 

Father McCormick never seemed to serious. He was normally such a jovial fellow, always joking to the point Craig often wondered how he became a priest in the first place. Even his humor could be downright dirty at times. But as he spoke with authority, Craig came to have a newfound respect for him. He was a bit surprised when the other priest threw open the door to his basement, but continued to follow after him. It wasn’t until they reached the bottom of the stairs that Craig suddenly had more questions.

“How many times have you done this?” 

He was in awe. Father McCormick’s basement was more like a secret chamber prepared in advance for rituals. He set his black briefcase on the golden altar against the back wall and reached for a pack of matches. Six beeswax candles set in a circle around the only chair in the room soon cast the area in an eerie glow and Craig glanced down to find curious symbols he didn’t recognize outlined in chalk at his feet. He took a step further into the basement and found that his shoes treaded upon a gritty substance, noise crunching softly underfoot. 

“More times than I’d care to admit. You know the Church doesn’t like to advertise these services. Brings the crazies in and we can’t do anything for mental illness or drug abuse, just demons. Careful, Father Tucker. Don’t break the circle. I’m not sure I’ll have the time to bless more salt.” 

Everything about this made Craig feel uneasy. He may not have been the best student at the seminary, but none of the symbols on the ground looked familiar to him. No fishes, no lambs, no doves, no crosses. Maybe it was just the poor lighting that made it difficult to recognize, but even the salt roused his suspicions. “Wouldn’t holy water be better?” 

Father McCormick handed him a small bottle along with a beaten and worn out latin Bible, the sacramentary ribbon already marking the page he would need to reference. “Holy water dries out, so it’s no good for protective circles. But if things get violent, you may want to be able to splash some on Tweek to get him to back off.” 

Craig still found this whole ordeal bizarre, but there was no denying what he had seen earlier. He reluctantly took the holy items offered. “Now what? You said Tweek will come if called.” 

“I did. Have a seat.” He gestured to the empty wooden chair in the middle of the circle and Craig felt anxious once more. 

“Isn’t that for the person, you know...Possessed? Why would I need to sit there?” He was still skeptical about this whole thing. 

“Because  _ you _ are possessed, Father Tucker. Do you think this demon plagues Tweek alone?” Father McCormick was holding his own holy weapons of choice: a crucifix and a Bible. Craig could see another vial of holy water on the altar, as well as a larger and heavier golden cross. “We are all sinners, and I will not cast the first stone, but we both know you have sinned with Tweek and committed that abomination of the sexes. He is the way he is because of your combined transgressions. If you want to make this right, you have to be willing to put yourself in harm’s way. Can you do that?” 

It angered Craig on some level that Father McCormick could stand there and proselytize at him. He wanted to make a snarky comment about his own indecent acts with Butters that far outranked his own, but he was more concerned about Tweek’s wellbeing. He obediently took the seat. “For Tweek, I would do anything.” 

“...Are you absolutely certain?” There was something taunting in the way Father McCormick asked that. 

“Yes,” he replied with complete conviction. 

“Then call for him. Just read that passage I’ve bookmarked for you. He’ll appear. The most important thing is that you keep reading. Do not stop for anything, Father Tucker. No matter what happens to me or to you or to even Tweek, you must not stop reading. Do you understand?” 

“I understand.” 

“Then let’s begin.” 

Craig took a deep breath to steel himself before he flipped to the page marked for him and began to read. His Latin had never been the best at the seminary, but as long as he could pronounce the words off the page, there was no real need to understand them. 

“Domine Satanus, tua gratia det mihi oro te potestatem, ut existimo in sensu meo et facere quod cupio facere, in fine quam ut consequuntur a facie tua inimicum, Potens satanas, qui unum verum Deum, qui tecum vivit et regnas in saecula saeculorum.”

_ Lord Satan, by your grace, grant me, I pray thee the power to conceive in my mind and to execute that which I desire to do, the end which I would attain by thy help, O Mighty Satan, the one True God who livest and reignest forever and ever.  _

The candles had gone out as if a sudden wind had swept through the basement. It wasn’t logically possible and Craig stopped reading for a moment to glance around. Father McCormick quickly put him back on track. “Keep going! You can’t stop!” 

Bowing his head again, Craig continued, “Inspire Tweaktape peto, ut aperiri potest apud me, et da mihi respondere fidelis et verus, et implerem mea desideravit ut finem, nisi quod proprium eius munus.” 

_ I entreat thee to inspire Tweaktape to manifest before me that he may give me true and faithful answer, so that I may accomplish my desired end, provided that it is proper to his office. _

The candles came back to life, this time burning brighter and higher than before. A chill ran down Craig’s spine and he could tell it was no longer just him and Father McCormick in the room. Even so, he carried on.

“Hoc nomen mihi reverenter atque humiliter patere tua, Domine Satanus, ut te dignum me, Patris.”

_ This I respectfully and humbly ask in Your Name, Lord Satan, may you deem me worthy, Father. _

It was time to turn the page. In that split second it took to turn the leaf, Craig glanced up and found himself nearly nose to nose with Tweek and whatever demon was currently possessing him, tiny fangs jutting out from his canines as he smiled at him. His heart stopped and a his blood ran cold. He couldn’t move until Father McCormick must have thrown holy water onto the cursed being’s back. With a howl, the demon rounded on Craig’s fellow priest. 

“Tucker, you need to keep going! Don’t stop!” Father McCormick called out even as the blonde lunged for him with a hiss, knocking him against the altar. 

Craig scrambled to continue, the sound of violent thudding and crashing spurring his haste. If he didn’t hurry, Father McCormick may end up dead. Worse yet, Tweek might get even more hurt. 

“Pro opibus obedientia spondeo animam meam de morte diem illum.” 

_ In return for his power and obedience, I promise to give my soul unto him on the date of my natural death. _

The violent struggle suddenly seemed to stop. Craig hoped that Father McCormick was still alive. He carried on, speaking faster, vomiting out the words. Someone was dragging himself across the floor and fear gripped him, but he pressed on, determined to save Tweek.

“Ut subtrahatis vos negant Dominum, et se spiritum meum in vitae meae seducteur predestinate die sua.”

_ I would shun Yahweh and deny him my spirit on the day of my predestined expiration. _

The flames from the candles seemed to burn ever brighter. Craig wouldn’t allow himself to look anywhere but at the book in his hands, but he was almost certain the salt circle had caught flame. He could now see the creature crawling towards him was a badly beaten Tweek, looking like something out of a horror film the way he continued to ominously shuffle toward him. Craig would not relent.

“Non paenitet eum sacerdos spes mea in Deo est.”

_ I recant my vows as a priest. _

It was getting harder to continue. Cursed, violent images were soon flooding his mind. He could most vividly see Tweek pinned to an inverted cross, and while the image disturbed him, he tried to take it as a sign he was doing the right thing. The Petrine cross could only mean he was saving him, right?

“Ex hodierna die et ad Tweaktape iam saecula.”

_ From this day forth, I belong to Tweaktape, now and forever.  _

Tweek had finally reached him and his hands gripped his ankles. 

Craig tried to ignore him and continue reading, but the book he had been holding suddenly jumped out of his hands and the pages began to tear apart from the binding on their own, scattering around the room, bursting into flames before they could hit the ground. 

“Craig…” a soft, familiar voice called to him, and he finally had the courage to look Tweek in the eyes. 

At first he was relieved. They were no longer yellow, cat-like slits, but the cherished sea glass green he had grown to love. Tweek took his hand gently in his own, still on his knees. Gingerly, he raised his hand until his knuckles were nearly against his lips like a chaste kiss pressed to the skin. 

“I’m sorry, but this is going to hurt.” Then he realized Tweek still had the fangs, the long fingernails, and the horns. 

Craig tried to rear back, but it was too late. Tweek yanked him forward with inhuman strength and then those demonic nails were plunging into his chest and out his back. The pain was excruciating, but the scream died in his throat. All he could manage were a few gasps for air, but it only hurt his chest more. 

“Just give in. When you wake up, it’ll be over,” Tweek whispered, his voice still sweet and calm in his ear. Craig’s hand fisted weakly in the back of his shirt, but his grip quickly gave way as he began to lose consciousness. He wanted to curse out whatever demon was holding onto him, especially as it began to stroke his hair. “You’ll be okay, Craig. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. Not for a long time.” 

Craig could only think of one thing as he passed out from the pain. 

Tweaktape held his body against him for a few moments longer until he heard Myst starting to clean up behind him. “You could help, you know. You hit me way harder than necessary, dumbass.” 

Tweaktape finally allowed Craig’s body to lie on the floor, sighing as he got to his feet and looked around for a broom. “I’m glad that’s over with.” 

“Well, I’m not!” Myst snapped. “You know we’re  _ both _ going to get in trouble for this, right?  You decide to pull a crap move like this and the High Council is going to flip a shit! You’ve taken what should have been a six month assignment tops and turned it into a sixty year one instead, just so you can spend a little more time with your pet.” 

“L-like you wouldn’t have done the s-same for Butters!” Tweaktape shot back. “Y-you’re just mad I had the balls to do this first!” 

“You’re an idiot. He’s going to hate you and you’re going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life just to end up eating him later anyway! What’s the poi--oh, fuck.” Myst stopped his scolding and began to burst into a fit of laughter. “Damn, I really do like this human.” 

Tweaktape turned around and followed Myst’s eyes, staring at Craig’s unconscious body. In true Tucker fashion, Craig had managed to make his feelings about this whole situation known. 

With the last of his strength, just before he must have passed out, Craig had managed to flip Tweaktape off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone once again for all the kudos, bookmarks, and reviews! I have to say one of my favorite things is realizing some other author who I admire is enjoying my work. Please feel free to send me links to your fics, especially if they're Creek, Style, Bunny, or Bendy! You can reach me at angrygoddessarchetype on Tumblr. <3


	6. Letter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If any of you read this and wonder, "Hey, did you rip off Black Butler?" 
> 
> Yes. Yes, I absolutely did.

_There is wishful thinking in Hell as well as on Earth._

_-_ C.S. LEWIS _, The Screwtape Letters_

* * *

 

_My dear Tweaktape,_

_I fucking warned you._

_What did you expect? That he would just be fine with finding out you completely dicked over his immortal soul? That he would be cool about you lying to him this entire time?_

_You were living in a fantasy world if you thought things could carry on like they had. He cannot avoid his fate and neither can you._

_I will not take the fall for you when the Infernal Police show up at your doorstep. You made the contract. You have to live with it._

_But I will talk to your new master. His pissy attitude has Butters worried. Do you even know how many muffins he has baked in the past two weeks to send to him in a gift basket? How many apple pies? How many times I’ve had to hear “lu lu lu I got some apples, lu lu lu you got some too”?_

_It’s the most adorable thing in the world. I want to kill myself._

_Your affectionate friend_

_Myst_

* * *

Myst had cursed out Tweaktape and Craig more times than he could count in the past week. Tweaktape had gotten himself into a dumb situation based on his own delusions, but as long as it didn’t affect him, Myst had opted not to care. Unfortunately, Butters cared far too much about the people around him. No matter how often he sinned, he still had that annoying trait.

Every day, he asked him about Father Tucker and Tweek. Father Tucker’s mass used to be fun, or as fun as mass could get. Now it was just lifeless and soul sucking. The entire parish could tell the man seemed dead inside, and he disappeared quickly after it was over, no longer staying behind to chat amicably with his flock. Tweek, for his part, seemed to disappear entirely. Rumors began to spread about Father Tucker and Tweek, about a secret romance and a heart-wrenching breakup that caused one half of the pair to die inside and the other to flee town. It was close enough to the truth.

Myst kicked the door to Father Tucker’s home three times before beating on it with his fists frantically. He just wanted to get this over with.

Craig opened the door a crack a moment later. “Stop scuffing my door, asshole.” He went to close it immediately, but Myst stuck his foot in it. Craig opened the door wider only to try to slam it closed. When Myst didn’t budge, he began bashing the demon’s foot in repeatedly with the door.

“You’re such a dick. Let me in.”

“You helped a demon claim my soul for dinner. You ruined my livelihood as a priest. But I’m the dick?”

“ _Yes_.”

When it became clear Myst wasn’t going to leave and no amount of abuse he dished out to his foot was going to make him leave, Craig finally backed off and chose to ignore him instead, plopping down onto his couch in front of the television.

Only now Myst could get a good look at him. He hadn’t shaved in days and it looked like he hadn’t showered either. A Red Racer t-shirt draped loosely over his form, paired with grey sweatpants. Without offering one to his guest (or intruder, depending), Craig placed a cigarette between his lips and lit up.

“Where’s Tweaktape?”

“Don’t know. Don’t care.” He took a deep drag of his cigarette and reached for the remote. “I know you’re friends, but if you could not have your demonic meetups in my home, that would be great.”

“I’m here to talk to you. I just wanted to know if he was listening.”

“Better not be.” Craig leaned over to tap his cigarette against an ash tray. “I ordered him to stay away from me. He has to do everything I say until I die, right?”

Myst nodded. “That’s usually how the contract works, yeah. He’s your servant.” He hovered near Craig for a few moments, but the human offered nothing, focusing on the television instead.

He wasn’t sure where to start. In Hell, Myst was pretty low down on the Lowarchy. He was no Hitler or anything, but still. It was rare he had to try to convince someone to do anything. Usually he could just hint at it or flat out give an order and his will would be done. Dealing with someone delicately wasn’t his forte.

“You know, most teenage girls would be thrilled to have a demon boyfriend they can get to do whatever they want.”

Craig didn’t even bother to look at him. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, but I’m not a teenage girl. I had a life. A career. And he just decided to take that all away from me.”

“Okay, but you still have a dedicated demon servant with a cute butt! Rob a bank or something! Or have a super gay orgy! You know...Live a little!”

“This is why nobody likes you, McCormick. Because you’re a bad person.” That nasally voice was really starting to grate on Myst’s nerves.

“I’m a demon, asshole.”

“You know what normal guys do?” Craig asked in his typical monotone, tapping his cigarette once more, eyes never straying from the TV. “They get jobs. They get girlfriends. They get married and have a bunch of kids. They don’t summon demonic boyfriends with satanic powers in exchange for their soul.”

Myst wanted to smack him, but he knew as soon as he raised a fist, Tweaktape would be there to defend his master. “Well, that’s just too bad, Craig! You’re involved now!”

“I don’t care. I’ve decided that I’m done. I’m choosing not to be a part of this anymore.”

He hated the way he wouldn’t even look at him. Myst stood in front of the television, blocking his view. “So you’re just going to live like this from now on? This is dumb! This is boring!”

“Yup. Nice and boring. Just the way I like it.”

Myst might have actually hit him if Tricia Tucker hadn’t come home at that moment.

“Oh. Father McCormick. Hey.” Old habits died hard. Tricia knew everything. There was no way to hide it, but Myst was surprised she didn’t seem to share the animosity her brother did. On the contrary, the two siblings seemed to be fighting with each other. They only acknowledged the other's presence with a flip of their middle fingers. “Tweek around?”

Craig didn’t answer. Myst instead supplied, “I can feel his presence somewhere, but he’s not in this immediate room thanks to Craig.”

“So you’re still being an asshole? No surprise there.” When he didn’t respond, Tricia headed up the stairs and Myst decided to follow.

“Tweek?” she called for him sweetly, searching her brother’s room for him first. “Aw...Tweek…”

Myst wasn’t shocked to find his fellow demon in a deep state of depression, but he was a little surprised that the blonde was crying softly as he tried his best to balance two fidget spinners in each hand, sniffling pathetically. “For fuck’s sake…”

Startled by his voice, Tweaktape jumped and the fidget spinners went tumbling to the ground. “Gah! Oh, man! Y-you scared me! I-I-I thought you might be the p-p-police for a second!”

“Dude, if that’s how you react when you think the Infernal Police are at your door, you’re completely screwed. Especially if Craig is going to keep on being an uncooperative bitch.”

Tweaktape wiped at his eyes quickly as Tricia wrapped her arms around him in a comforting hug. “H-he’s been sinning a lot these days...I’m pretty strong…”

“Yeah, but an emotional wreck. What the hell happened after he woke up anyway?”

* * *

_Tweaktape never left Craig’s side after he brought him home._

_He called Tricia to let her know that everything was going to be okay, that Craig was safe and so was he, and she could come back any time she felt like it. She tried to ask more specific questions about what had happened, but Tweaktape merely told her it was up for Craig to decide if he wanted to let her know what went on after she left. She hadn’t liked that, but she did respect his devotion to her idiot brother._

_When Craig finally woke up, he had smiled at Tweaktape so gently, for a moment the demon dared to hope that everything really would work itself out neatly. “Hey, babe. What are you doing here so early?” Tweaktape leaned forward to kiss his forehead and smooth his hair back away from his face. “Fuck, I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamt that you…”_

_The imp glanced down at his hands guiltily as Craig finally got a good look at him. He hadn’t bothered to assume a human form. Craig sat up quickly and popped open the front of his shirt. Where Tweaktape had stabbed him, a pentagram now sat in bold black ink on his skin. Where his fingers had been marked the five points and each had left a dent in his skin that looked like charred flesh._

_“I’m sorry, Craig,” Tweaktape started, reaching for him. When Craig flinched and jerked away, he sat back and kept his hands to himself. “I’m really, really sorry, but there was no other way for us to g-go on like this. I j-j-just wanted to spend more time with you. This was the only way.”_

_“...What the fuck is going on?”_

_The imp wrung his hands and twitched. “My n-name is Tweaktape. I was sent here to d-destroy you.”_

_He told Craig everything, stuttering and muddling through it. He told him about demons and angels and even Myst. He told him his original intentions and he came clean about how they had tricked him together. He explained how the contract worked, how he would be his demonic servant from now until his death._

_“And when I die?”_

_“...Then I’ll e-eat your soul.” He looked remorseful as he held Craig’s hard stare._

_Craig didn’t blink, he just continued to give him a long, hard, emotionless look. “So you’re just putting it off. Why?”_

_Tweaktape felt like that should have been obvious and cocked his head to the side. He was nervous and picked at his fingernails as he tried to work up the courage to admit what he barely could to himself. “Because after s-spending all this time with you, I started to pick up human traits I didn’t know I ever could. My professors warned all of us not to let humans rub off on us, but I couldn’t h-help it." It always seemed like an impossibility until he was faced with it. Every demon he had ever met was loveless. There was no love in Hell. Demons shouldn't even be capable of it, but here he was. "I grew to love you.” He had finally said it and it actually felt good. Tweaktape was scared the words would burn coming from his lips, but instead he felt lighter. It felt good to tell the truth after all this time. “I love you, Craig.”_

_The human only stared at him. “But you don’t love me.” The emotion he used to carry for him in his voice was gone. All Craig seemed capable of now was cold flatness._

_“I do love you!” Tweaktape insisted, almost offended by the way Craig so flippantly dismissed his feelings. A pit was beginning to form in his stomach.“I love you so much!”_

_“Then why are you doing this to me?”_

_Tweaktape paused and took a moment to think. He was confused. Had he not given Craig a great gift? He had more time, more power, and his unwavering obedience. Eventually, Tweaktape admitted, “I don’t understand.”_

_“You lied to me this entire time. You pulled the rug out from under my career and my beliefs. And now I have to live with this death sentence hanging over my head for the rest of my life? With my executioner always at my side?”_

_The demon’s lower lip trembled. He felt like he could vomit. He was scared to look Craig in the eyes. “I j-just l-l-loved you s-so much…!” He started to shed real tears, the first ones that had ever flowed freely in front of the pastor. He wasn’t pretending anymore, but the priest was no longer moved by his display. He had seen Tweek’s tears before and they hadn’t been real. Why should he believe this time was any different?_

_“If you really loved me, you would have just left.”_

_“B-but--!”_

_Craig stood from the bed, towering over him. “You don’t love me. You’re just selfish. You just want to possess me.”_

_“Gngh! No! I--!” It might have been true at one point, and it might have been the lie he told Myst to keep himself from trouble, but Tweaktape knew his feelings were true._

_“Demons don’t know how to love. All you did was manipulate me this entire time. Well, I’m done. I don’t want to be a part of this anymore. You have to do what I say, right?”_

_He wasn’t moved by Tweaktape’s sobbing, not even as he began to hyperventilate. The demon did his best to nod._

_“Then leave me alone.”_

_“Craig--!” He wanted to reach out for him, but the human had his back turned away from him now and he was scared he would react violently if he tried to touch him._

_“That’s an order, Tweaktape.” He had never used his real name before. Tweaktape hated it. “I order you to leave me alone. Stay away from me.”_

_With a last anguished sob, Tweaktape forced himself to return to the spiritual plane and drifted to a different room._

_Father Tucker pinched the bridge of his nose and then silently wiped his own tears away._

* * *

Unlike Myst, Tricia had no problem getting violent with her older brother.

“Ow,” he replied in his trademark monotone when she slapped the back of his head. He didn’t turn to face her, so she slapped him again. “Ow!”

He deserved it, she thought to herself, slapping him once more even harder. “OW! Tricia!” Craig finally turned to look at her, an annoyed scowl on his face, but she was already climbing over the back of the couch to beat him better and get in a few shots to his face. “Tricia! Tricia, stop! STOP! Quit it!”

“You fucking asshole!” she cried as she got a good punch to his gut, winding him.

“Alright…!” he wheezed, holding his stomach as he glowered up at her. “This is unfair...! What the hell did I do to deserve this?”

“You need to talk to Tweek!”

This again. She always seemed to take his side. “ _Traitor_. I already told him I want nothing to do with him.” You would think his baby sister would have the common decency to side with him on this one, but no. She had loved Tweek almost as soon as she met him and it didn’t matter to her that the demon had played his heart like a freakin’ harp and then ripped it out almost quite literally. Didn’t matter that he was going to eat his soul. No, he made the cute, little blonde boy cry. Let’s just all focus on that. Bad Craig! Bad!

“There you go again, just running away! Just shutting everyone else out!”

He hadn’t expected that response. “What the hell are you talking about?” he asked, nostrils flaring. He just wanted to watch Red Racer reruns all day. They reminded him of a simpler time, like his childhood. You know, back when he wasn’t being haunted by supernatural creatures.

“Whenever you have to deal with anything emotional, you just run away! You close yourself off and decide you’re not going to let anyone else in!”

He threw a pillow at her. “I can’t help it that I have control of my emotions!”

“Bullshit! You don’t have control of them, you just bury them!” It was turning into a veritable screaming match between the two siblings. “When Mom and Dad died, you just locked yourself in your room to sulk all by yourself! When they pushed the priesthood on you, you just went along with it like a goddamn martyr even though you knew what it would mean giving up! When Father Maxi died, you didn’t even cry at all! And now with Tweek, you won’t even talk to him!”

“This isn’t fair, Tricia. I did what I did for you--!”

“Well, I didn’t ask you to do anything for me! I didn’t ask you to hide yourself away any of those times! You’re my big brother! I just wanted us to be there for each other and I know you’re a complete asshole, but I want to see you happy just as much as you want to see me happy! So for once in your miserable life you could maybe give in to your fucking emotions and deal with talking about them like an adult instead of pretending you don’t have them at all?”

Both brother and sister were red in the face from screaming, but Tricia’s chest was heaving from her last tirade. Craig hated her in that moment the way only two siblings who loved each other dearly could. He hated how right she was about everything. Maybe Craig had grown up faster than her out of necessity. Maybe he learned how to balance a checkbook, run a budget, hire lawyers, sign a lease, and provide for them best he could, but he hadn’t had the luxury of dwelling on his feelings. He never had time to process his emotions properly because he was so fixated on the solution. There was always something else to do and he couldn’t afford to be distracted. Craig had always thought it was one of his strengths, but now he saw it as a double-edged sword.

When he hadn’t said anything for a few moments, Tricia calmly stated her piece. “Craig. Tweek really does love you. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but you have to remember he’s new to this too. Demons don’t know how to love because they don’t have a basis for it. We had parents. Sure, they fucked up sometimes, but they loved each other and they loved us. Tweek has never known love for as long as he’s existed. I know it doesn’t make sense to you, it doesn’t seem logical, but he did what he did because he loves you.”

“It was selfish,” he hissed at her, not ready to be made the bad guy so easily.

“Yeah, it was. And I think Tweek knows that now. But you know what? Tweek made you happier than I’ve ever seen you. Even since before Mom and Dad died.”

“Tweek isn’t real. He was just a lie conjured up by a demon.”

Tricia relented a bit. “Okay. Fine. But Tweaktape is nearly the same person. Just a little spikier! And I bet if you guys could move past this, you could go back to being happy like you were.”

As if he could ever go back to being happy knowing what awaited him at the end of his life. Most people hated uncertainty, but sometimes it was better. It gave way for hope. “He’s going to eat my soul.”

“Maybe,” she admitted. “Or maybe there’s a loophole just waiting to be exploited. I don’t know if you know this since you’ve barely talked to the guy, but...Tweaktape is kinda new to this whole gig. He doesn’t have the most experience. The guy’s never eaten a single soul in his life.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? That I’m taking his soul-eating v-card?”

“I’m just saying...Maybe if you guys and even Myst worked together, you could find a way around that. After all, this whole contract thing was a small loophole. It might not have gotten you guys out of this situation, but it did buy you more time. Did you ever think that that might have been part of Tweaktape’s reasoning? That he might already be looking for ways to fix this?”

Craig was silent.

“No. You didn’t. Because you’re an asshole.”

* * *

Communication was Craig’s kryptonite.

He had never been good at it and he was downright terrible if he had to discuss something as complicated as his feelings. Tweek had been the first person he’d ever allowed himself to get emotional with and the betrayal of his trust had made him reluctant to do it again. Opening up like that and being vulnerable wasn’t something he looked forward to, but he knew he had to do it. Tricia would never forgive him if he didn’t at least try, though she was being more patient with him when he clearly expressed to her that he was just trying to figure out how exactly he was feeling before he approached Tweaktape. He had been spared another punch to his intestines and given a small, sympathetic smile instead.

Still, a week had gone by and Craig hadn’t called for Tweaktape yet. It wasn’t until Craig happened upon him accidentally that he even saw the blonde for the first time in about three weeks.

“Craig!” Tweaktape gasped, sitting up straighter in the bathtub. The pastor hadn’t bothered knocking since Tricia was out and he just assumed Tweaktape would be elsewhere given that he hadn’t run into him at all. He never thought he might be interrupting something, mind focused only on taking a shower for the first time in days. “S-sorry! I’ll go!”

“It’s okay,” Craig replied, eyes glancing over Tweaktape’s body instinctively just as he was about to leave. He gave pause though when he noticed his biceps had been bruised and cut up. “What the hell happened to your arms?” Then he looked at his face. “Tweek!”

Awkward conversations forgotten, Craig quickly moved to the demon’s side to get a better look at him. “I-It looks way worse than it is!” His right eye was swollen shut and another assortment of cuts and bruises adorned his face. As Craig got a better look at Tweaktape, he could plainly see his whole body was a mess and he was sitting in water that had turned light orange from the dried blood he was washing off.

“Who did this to you?” Craig demanded to know as he reached for the first aid kit beneath the sink.

Tweaktape looked uncomfortable. “Am...I allowed to be around you now…?”

Craig’s lips flattened into a tight line as he thought about it for a moment. “For now. I’m asking you for answers. You better tell me the truth.” It carried all the weight of a command.

“It’s n-nothing,” Tweaktape assured him again, sinking lower into the water. Craig reached into the tub and forced him to show him his arm, the first aid kit open on the floor. “Craig, you don’t have to. I know my skin looks like yours, but your human medical supplies aren’t going to do much good.”

He hated to feel useless. “So there’s nothing I can do to help you?”

“Uh...W-well, you could, um...Kiss me…” The deadly look Craig gave him was as cold as ice. “W-what?! I’m not being funny! J-just the more you sin, the stronger I am! The more directly involved in the act I am, the better!”

Tweaktape could let his wounds fester then for all he cared. Craig was still upset with him and sat back down on the floor. “You still haven’t explained who or what beat the shit out of you.”

The imp’s shoulders sagged and he sighed softly. “Just the Infernal Police. That’s all.”

“Infernal Police. Who are they?”

“Pretty much what they sound like. They’re our police. They track down criminals and traitors, other demons who have broken the rules.”

Craig leaned against the bathtub, making a note to disinfect it later. Demon blood probably had weird properties. Probably stained the porcelain real bad. “And you’re a criminal?”

“Now...Sort of...Deserter is probably more accurate.”

That was news to Craig. “What do you mean?”

“W-well...The contract I made with you...It had to be approved first by my superior tempter. Coongrand was the one I forwarded it to and he rejected it...”

“And you went through with it anyway?”

Tweaktape nodded slowly. “I knew they would be upset, but I thought I could try to get Stanshed to overrule Coongrand with an appeal, so I did it anyway.” He had been banking on that. Stanshed was always the more reasonable and sympathetic tempter. “But then Stanshed ran off with an _angelic lover_ of all damn things and I was told Coongrand’s decision would stand. I committed treason by forging the contract without explicit permission from the Lowarchy.”

Demons had a whole system in Hell. Who knew. “I still don’t understand though. Why is forming a contract such a big deal?”

“Our current policy is to not let humans know we exist in the first place,” Tweaktape explained. “It’s easier that way. If you don’t believe in demons, why believe in Hell? Or Heaven? Or God? But form a contract with a human, and of course they know everything is suddenly true beyond a shadow of a doubt. Besides, the ultimate goal of a demon is to get everything for nothing in return as quickly as possible. But with a contract, I’ve given you your entire lifespan to live out and my power and obedience. It may be considered a fair trade, but demons don’t like making fair trades. It would have been best to devour you and be done with it, then move on to the next one.”

Craig continued to listen intently, though his eyes were still focused on Tweaktape’s wounds. “Then why have the option of forming a contract in the first place?”

“Sometimes a soul is too valuable to lose to the Enemy. It’s better to entice the human, make sure they’re completely yours. Once a human enters a contract with a demon, there’s no going back. You’ll never be allowed to enter Heaven. You’re ours. It used to be more commonplace back in the day, but now you might only see a contract approved every few years or so.”

No wonder Tweaktape’s request had been denied. If they were that serious, it would be ludicrous to believe Hell would care that much about his measly soul. “I’m not that important.”

Tweaktape’s lips twitched up into a small smile. “You’re that important to me.”

Craig’s traitorous heart skipped a beat. Gingerly, he leaned over and pressed a small kiss to one of the cuts on Tweaktape’s arms. It had only meant to be an affectionate gesture, but he was surprised to see the flesh immediately start to heal until there wasn’t even a hint of a scar. Tweaktape hadn’t been kidding.

“So...What? They’re sending other demons to beat the shit out of you?”

“Mm...Kinda. I'm more like a consolation or bonus prize. They’re really after you.”

“Me?” Craig sat up a bit straighter. He hadn’t noticed anyone or anything trying to kill him.

“Because of my crimes, the Lowarchy has determined I have no claim to you. They can’t do anything about the contract, but they can try to deny me the right to your soul. I’m not really worth their time or resources. It’s you that they want. I’ve had three tempters tell me they’re coming to finish what I started.” They’d also called him plenty of insults like vermin-lover, cattle-fucker, and human wannabee, but Craig didn’t need to know that.

“And you just didn’t tell me any of this?”

“You didn’t want to be involved anymore. You sent me away, but I’ll always be here to protect you. I wanted you to be able to live like this never happened--like I never existed and ruined your life. I hoped that maybe one day you could forget and just be happy again.”

Tricia had been right all along. Maybe Tweaktape didn’t know how to love him, but Craig finally understood that he certainly did. He might not always go about it the right way, but the creature before him was trying his best.

Forgiveness didn’t come naturally to Craig, but with Tweek, it had always been a little easier. Maybe Tweaktape wasn’t so different from the human he had been pretending to be after all.

“Tweaktape, you know why I’m mad at you, right?” The demon nodded. It was the first time Craig had used his real name without a command following after it. “Good. Because you were being a dick. But just because you’re mad at someone, it doesn’t mean you stop loving them.”

Tweaktape’s body went rigid. He could hear his heart beating in his ears. He didn’t want to look at Craig and get his hopes up.

“I still love you. It’s just hard knowing what was real and what wasn’t. I was...scared that maybe you never really loved me at all. That this is all just another trick.”

“No! No, it’s not!” Tweaktape quickly rushed to reassure him, sloshing water outside of the tub as he twisted to face Craig. “I swear, I really do love you!”

Craig placed his hands on his shoulders, trying to get him to calm down. To Tweaktape’s relief, a small smile was playing at his lips. “I know, honey. But from now on, we have to be on the same team. We can’t keep secrets from each other. We have to help one another.”

It looked like Tweaktape was nodding fervently. Either that or he was having another nervous twitch. “O-okay!”

“So you’re going to let me help you next time you have to fight off another demon.” He kissed his forehead. “And you’re going to help me figure out how to get out of this contract.” Another kiss to his swollen eye, and Tweaktape sighed with relief. “Alright?”

“Alright.”

It felt good to kiss Tweek--or rather Tweaktape--again. Craig hadn’t realized how heavy all of his anger that had been sitting on his chest was. Kissing Tweaktape and making up with him made it all seem to fade away. “I love you.”

“I love you too!” the imp replied with a bit too much enthusiasm, eagerly leaning into Craig. 

They held each other in a tight embrace for a few moments before Craig noticed Tweaktape was developing a chill. He was still naked and wet in a bath that must have gone cold by now. “Hey, babe?”

“Mm~?” Tweaktape nuzzled deeper into his neck, fangs delicately drawing over his skin as the demon smiled. He seemed as cuddly as a kitten now. Craig calling him pet names again was like music to his ears.

“Are demons familiar with the concept of make up sex?”

* * *

 

“I thought fighting demons would be annoying.”

11 wins and no losses so far.

“It’s not?” Tweaktape asked, curled up on his chest while Craig enjoyed a cigarette, careful to keep any ash from falling on him or his lover.

“Not when the post-battle sex is amazing.” The rush of adrenaline from the fight bled right into their lovemaking and Tweaktape was always so desperate for him. Craig felt pleasantly spent after he was finished pouring a healthy amount of sin into Tweaktape’s body, and his demonic lover was happy to have his energy recharged and body healed.

“You had a nice shot today, you know,” Tweaktape complimented him, shifting so he could see Craig’s face. “You just totally whacked that pixie with a Bible! She went flying!”

“It was being annoying. Besides, I can’t let anything distract me from you. You were taking on that giant cyclops-thing all by yourself. You needed me to concentrate.”

At first, Tweaktape had been hesitant to let Craig participate in these kinds of battles, but the priest had been nothing but helpful. Whether he was tossing holy water at his enemies, thinking and committing acts of sin to give Tweaktape a boost in power, or just merely cheering him on, Craig was an invaluable companion. He had been right. They really did make a good team when they worked together.

“Oh! I almost f-forgot!” Tweaktape removed himself from Craig and scuttled over to the desk in the corner of the room. It was constantly a mess these days, as was the church. They had neglected the latter in favor of pouring over old tomes, religious texts, and any other arcane writings they could get their hands on, desperately searching for a loophole. Books on witchcraft now outnumbered Bibles in Craig’s room. Many of them were useless, but the few that were legitimate had been stacked neatly on a corner of the desk. Tweaktape had the advantage of being able to tell which ones were real or bullshit with just a quick scan of the first chapter. But today he had something even better. “Myst sent me something!”

“Myst? Did he finally send you another letter?” Nobody had seen Father McCormick or the deacon Butters for quite some time. Likewise, Myst had failed to reply to Tweaktape’s last letter and seemed to have mysteriously disappeared.

“No. Must be in hiding. But I can tell it's from him. It has to be,” Tweaktape explained, climbing back into bed with the curious package in hand. “But maybe he left a note inside? I didn’t want to open it until we were together.”

Tweaktape really was shaping up to be a thoughtful demon. Craig smiled and opened his arms, allowing his love to settle back into him as they unwrapped the package together. It was square in shape and bound in parchment paper and twine. Carefully, they removed the wrapping. Tweaktape was delighted to find there was a note after all.

Only it wasn’t addressed the way it normally was. The cryptic message read:

_They gave this in appropriate style. Stand up for what you believe in. She’d want you to._

Tweaktape frowned. It didn’t make any sense and held none of the answers he’d been wanting.

Setting the note aside, the couple took a closer look at the package. It was certainly a book, rather large, but thin. Opening to the first page, the only thing written in it was names and dates. 1432. Gilles de Rais. Triptweeze. It looked more like a record keeper.

“Mean anything to you?” Craig asked, just as confused.

Tweaktape shook his head. “No. It looks like a ledger the Lowarchy would have used to account for tempters and the humans they’re assigned to.” He flipped through a few more pages, stopping when he reached 1461. “Vlad Țepeș. Screwtape.”

“Screwtape?” Craig raised an eyebrow at him. “Relative of yours?”

“An uncle. He always bragged that even as a young tempter, he managed to get men to commit the most violent and atrocious deeds,” Tweaktape explained with a roll of his eyes. “Now he says it’s better to take the gradual path. Wrote a whole book of essays on it that we all had to read.”

“Sounds like a big shot.”

“Well, he was until a human author discovered his writings. Haven’t heard about him since.” When someone screwed up in Hell, they tended to disappear. He was more focused on the other names written in the ledger. 1590. Elizabeth Báthory. Slubgob. He flipped through all the pages, but nothing seemed to stand out until he reached 1930. The names “Adolf Hitler. Coongrand” had been circled in red ink.  

He didn’t get it. What did Myst want him to see that he just wasn’t getting? What was an old ledger like this worth? And why was he taking such great pains to be covert about this?

Tweaktape reached for the letter again. He read it out loud once, then again more slowly. The third time, he read it quickly, letting the words jumble together.

 _“In appropriate style._ What if he really means ‘inappropriate style’? _”_ Craig suggested.

It still wasn’t much to go on. Tweaktape also didn’t understand what female was related to this. “ _She’d_. Who’s she?”

Craig shrugged and pulled Tweaktape closer to his body. “Let’s look at it later. I’m tired and need to rest.”

Reluctantly, Tweaktape agreed and set the note and ledger aside so he could lay down with his human love. He knew Craig wanted to work on this puzzle when he was well-rested and had a brain refreshed, but Tweaktape couldn’t help but twitch at the inactivity.

If there was any way to save Craig, he wanted to figure it out as soon as possible. Even as he felt Craig slowly drift off beside him, Tweaktape couldn’t allow himself the luxury. His brain buzzed as he tried to think about what it all meant. He had met Hitler once, a long time ago. He held quite the position in the Lowarchy. He hadn’t required any training at all once he arrived in Hell, or so they said, and it shouldn’t be a surprise given how downright evil the man was. Was that why his name had been circled? Because Tweaktape had met him before? What, was he supposed to request an audience with the fiend when he was technically on the lamb?

Tweaktape spent the whole night wishing away. He wished he were smarter. He wished he were older. He wished he were wiser. He wished Myst was still here. Most of all, he wished he could make this all up to Craig and that they could be happy.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was honestly going to end this without a cliffhanger so the next chapter could just be an epilogue, but then it became this monster of about 6,000 words or so over 13 pages and I just needed to end it. What better way with a little riddle/cliffhanger? 
> 
> I know how the story will end already, but I haven't written it yet so I can't say with certainty the next chapter will be the last, though that is what I'm aiming for. 
> 
> Once again, thank you to everyone for your bookmarks, subscriptions, comments, and kudos! I'm always overwhelmed by your support. <3

**Author's Note:**

> So now the question is, do I update this fic next or post the first chapter to the other fic I have in mind before I start to lose the plot ideas for that one? That fic would focus on Tweek forcing Craig to take a break in their relationship after 7 years to try dating other people 'to make sure this is really what they want'. Craig isn't on board and is convinced he needs to win Tweek back, while Bebe Stevens becomes his beard in the interim much to Clyde's annoyance. Happy Creek ending intended.


End file.
